


You are my Soul Soul

by matsu1nino



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daemons, Attitude Change, Chibi, Daemon & Human Interactions, Daemon Separation, Dissociation, Drabble Sequence, Gen, Junior Days, Light Angst, M.A.I.N, M/M, Non Consensual Daemon Touching, OT5 Friendship, Same-Sex Daemons, Secret Crush, Time Skips, rivals to friends to lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-10 23:48:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 37,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10450281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matsu1nino/pseuds/matsu1nino
Summary: Idols were renowned for not being reliant on their daemons but no one could possibly understand the pain they suffered to be that way.





	1. Always Close to Us

Everyone had a daemon. They were a natural part of this world; a companion and breathing embodiment of a person’s soul. They were entirely accepted by society and looked down upon by no one. Regardless of race, education, gender, age or anything else, every living person had a daemon. They were the link between all of human kind but this did not mean everyone was equals.

Equality was non-existent. Throughout history, the distinction had always been made between those with lesser daemons and those with superior. Those of grander status—monarchs, lords, emperors and aristocrats—were revelled for having daemons which settled as majestic forms, as opposed to those of lower class who’s would mostly settle as common creatures lacking the same level of splendour. The wealthy’s legacies were depicted in various art mediums so that they might be remembered throughout the ages. But as centuries passed, the emphasis on a daemon’s settled form lessened and the importance of the daemon itself increased significantly. Levels of dissociation had become commendable in recent years. Corporations worldwide were known to train important figures to become accustomed to sustained separation from their daemon. Johnny’s and Associates was one of these establishments.

From the moment they joined the agency as juniors, the young boys were taught to be separate from their daemons. The notion was simple: daemons of idols were supposed wanted, not needed; to be seen and not heard, if that. Those in Johnny’s had an image to uphold, one that proudly displayed the vigour they all held, so much so that they did not have to rely on their daemons. The training the boys undertook as juniors continued for years and even as they built up a resilience to the separation, perennial adaption never occurred. It was an exhausting and painful experience for both human and daemon, but an accepted condition of being a part of the jimusho. During rehearsals the daemons were made to remain lined along the walls at the back and sides of the room. Concerts and performances were a similar ordeal. Special stages were constructed with hidden areas beneath where the idols’ daemons would remain, moving in sync with their humans above but remaining out of sight for the duration of the performance. The stages were always built at a low enough level to separate them without causing severe pain that would hinder the boys’ movements. Daemons were allowed to remain by their human’s side in variety and talk shows, provided that they did not interrupt the flow of the broadcast. Before a junior’s daemon had settled, they were allowed to act themselves alongside their human in any drama or film role so long as they complied with assuming whatever form the director wished for them to take. If a daemon had already settled, they were required to sit off to the side of the set out of the camera’s way. The character’s daemon would then be digitally added in later on during the editing process.

In spite it being an established condition of involvement in the agency, not every boy who entered Johnny’s accepted the importance that was placed on daemon dissociation. Many were known to have left the jimusho for this reason alone; some dropped out from the pain caused by the separational training while others decided they simply did not agree with casting their daemons aside in such a way for the sake of entertainment. There were plenty in the agency who also shared this unfavourable outlook but chose to remain regardless. It was rare for a boy to enter Johnny’s without feeling uneasy by the thought of being separate from their daemon, especially at such a young age, but for many the ambitious notion of fame and fortune outweighed this fear.  
\---  
Ohno Satoshi hadn’t wanted to join Johnny’s in the first place. He cared deeply for his daemon but separating from her had not been a factor supporting his reluctance to audition. He simply did not have an interest in it. In fact it wasn’t until after he was already accepted to join the agency that he learnt of the separation that he would be required to make with his daemon. At first he had objected to it, being completely indifferent to the lessons and rehearsals as he preferred to sit at the back with Kai and watch as the world went by. The other juniors seemed to either respect or loathe him for this fact as it would often get them into trouble with their choreography teacher as well, especially when he often chose to ignore their instructions.

It was not until he was cast for a theatrical role in a stage play in Kyoto that he was finally forced to comply with the same conditions the jimusho had been trying to train him in. All cast members were given no choice even if their daemons were not yet settled as the director chose to use shadow play to depict each role’s daemons instead. During both the rehearsals and the performances that occurred five times a day, separating from Kai was not an option but a necessity.

Honestly Kai was less bothered by the forced separation than she was by the unenthused attitude her human had towards the life they were living. But troubled or not, she would never let him forget that he was conned into debuting.  
\---  
Sakurai Sho’s daemon cared deeply for him but had never approved of how he’d entered Johnny’s and Associates. It wasn’t that she didn’t want Sho to be a part of the agency; if he wanted to do it, she would support him entirely. But she was highly disinclined to the idea of forced separation and the pain that came with it, and despised Sho for joining out of a running joke between him and his friends.

Admittedly Sho did feel somewhat guilty for putting Makami through what he had, knowing his decision to audition had also stemmed from the rebellious phase he had gone through as a misguided teenager looking to find his place in the world. He too did not wish to have to be separate from his daemon and was saddened by the fact that, before settling, Makami took on forms that would allow her to fly far from him. She would often claim it was additional practice to elongate the mobility of their connection to one another but Sho knew she was nothing short of mad at him. After debuting, when he had come to grips with the fact that he was now in a group and had passed his rebel phase, he worked as hard as he could to make up for the mistakes he’d made in the years before. Makami still scolded him from time to time but her grudge had seemingly lifted after seeing the way Sho was beginning to take pride in his life and was continuing as an idol out of his own enjoyment.  
\---  
Like any, Aiba Masaki adored his daemon but he often wondered if she was really his what with how different she was compared to him. Where he held only excitement, enthusiasm and optimism that things could only go well, she would criticize him for not being right in the head and tell him off for the ideas he curiously wished to test out. Lanae was his voice of reason—not that he ever actually listened to her—and the necessary pullback for when he became too excited or too adventurous. So when he managed to enter the agency and was required to part from her, things naturally became much more difficult for them both. Aiba, in spite of many weeks of being in tears even mid-rehearsal from the agonizing sensation that came with being separate from his daemon, adjusted to the distance surprisingly quickly. Among all the juniors, he was one of the fastest to become accustomed to the separation and once he had, his energy levels spiked to their maximum.

Lanae was naturally terrified for him. Between the fear that he would push himself too far away from her by accident and panicking over all the insane ideas that crowded the boy’s mind, it was only natural for the daemon to worry for the both of them, even more so when she was forbidden in most cases from getting close enough to intervene. After he debuted, Lanae could only watch and pray that Aiba’s fellow members would take her place as preventative measures to keep him safe from himself.  
\---  
Joining the agency had been less of a willing decision and more a reluctant compliance to his mother’s wishes, with some added bribery involved. Ninomiya Kazunari had not been bothered by the idea of being a part of Johnny’s and Associates, and knew if he were to somehow get in he had little intention of staying for long. Because of this, the thought of separating himself from his daemon didn’t disturb him as much as he knew it did others within the agency. He figured he had a strong enough bond with Keitan anyway for it not to be too much of an issue. Nino loved the fact that his daemon was not dissimilar to him in temperament like many other kids’ were and instead was just as much of a scamp as himself. It meant that at least while they were still a part of the agency, they could have some fun.

Hiding during performances and filming weren’t a problem for Keitan; it was actually the preferred option, and all things considered Nino and his daemon were both fairly tolerant of the pain that was caused in the separation training involved with being a Johnny’s junior. It still hurt but it did not seem as unbearable as a lot of the other boys made it out to be. This did not stop Nino from complaining at every chance available though. Even after they had debuted as part of Johnny’s newest five-member group, something which Nino was still questioning how exactly it’d happened considering he had not been intending to continue, he kept up his bratty and child-like behaviour. Not only did it receive a great reaction from fans most of the time, it drew attention away from the secret he and Keitan worked hard to keep hidden from everyone else.  
\---  
Matsumoto Jun loved his daemon. She was more than a mere part of him and a simple companion that walked alongside him each day; she was everything to him. She would beautifully take on forms often of larger, more intimidating creatures, so much so that Jun’s sister frequently liked to tease him about his daemon wanting to protect her too-small human—a teasing trend which quickly spread to the other junior boys when he entered the agency. So when he was accepted to join Johnny’s and Associates without an audition, Jun started to question what would happen to his beloved Seriaya. His ambitions of becoming an idol were strong and only grew as he strived to prove his place amongst the other juniors, even at the painful cost of separating himself from his daemon through the intense training they were put through daily. He would often remain after rehearsals were over to try and perfect the choreography they’d been learning, and to try and push himself that little bit further with distancing himself from his daemon.

Seriaya never said anything despite the pain it caused them both. She knew how badly Jun wanted this and how well-fitted he was for this lifestyle. For that she had made the decision to support him throughout the gruelling years of vigorous training, unsuccessful sales post-debut and harsh criticism they faced as a group in their early years. She acted as a support for him when he had his doubts about making it to the big leagues, scolded him whenever he uttered depressed thoughts about giving up aloud, and encouraged him when great opportunities arose. Seriaya had long ago decided she would never admit to how much it hurt to have to hide away and watch from the sidelines as Jun’s life flourished without her.


	2. When We Were Young

The first time Jun met Nino, two lies were told.

Already changed and ready for the rehearsals that would be taking place soon, Jun sat patiently in the waiting area until the time when their sempai arrived to bring them to the rehearsal room. His daemon Seriaya lay at his feet in her preferred form of a husky. Other boys about his age were scattered around the room; the odd few were leisurely changing into their dance gear while most of the others were mucking about as usual. Jun knew the chances were good that more than half of them would not be ready by the time they were meant to start.

Swiftly finishing tying his shoelaces, Jun crossed his legs over and glanced up at the clock situated on the adjacent wall. There was another ten minutes or so until the rehearsals were supposed to begin. Jun frowned. He didn’t mind being the first person ready but he couldn’t help wondering why no one else seemed to be taking things seriously. They were all juniors but sometimes he felt like he was the only one who really wanted to be there.

Another junior approached Jun, who looked up in time to see the boy with short hair and a dark furred civet cat curled around his shoulders take a seat next to him. He leant back against the wall behind them and stared at Jun.

“You’re Ninomiya, aren’t you?” asked Jun as he tried to recall the correct name, having seen this boy around before at some point.

The other boy nodded. “I prefer Nino.”

Jun hummed thoughtfully at his remark before going on to introduce himself, even though Nino chuckled and told him he already knew who he was.

Seriaya lifted her head from her paws when the boy’s daemon slithered down his arm and dropped to the floor in front of her. She gave the civet a dubious sniff, recoiling when it wound its slinky body around her neck in a teasing manner.

“That guy over there is my brother, you know.” Nino cocked his head towards one of the other boys that was standing across the room from them. Jun looked to where Nino has gestured.

“Really?” he wondered aloud, not seeing any family resemblance between that boy and Nino. “But he doesn’t look anything like you.”

“So?” Nino retorted. “He’s my brother. You think I’m lying?”

Jun raised his hands in defence and shook his head. “No, I just thought brothers tended to look more alike, that’s all.”

“Do you have brothers?” When Jun shook his head a second time, Nino gave a smirk. “So you wouldn’t know, would you?”

Any reply Jun had been thinking of was lost from his mind when his attention was drawn to their daemons. He glanced down at them, concerned by the frustrated whines Seriaya was releasing in her increasingly frantic attempts to snap at the civet playfully coiling its lithe form around her. She threw her muzzle out at the other daemon with her lip drawn back in an angered snarl. When it evaded her once again and curled beneath her body, she leapt to all fours and bounded up onto the bench, shifting into a cat mid-air as she flung herself into Jun’s arms. She turned back to give a warning hiss at the civet left sitting alone on the floor.

“Control your daemon!” Jun snapped at the boy beside him, grappling to keep a hold on Seriaya who was continuing to scale him in an effort to get further away from the other daemon.

“She’s just playing,” Nino grinned down at the civet who stretched its neck back to give itself a quick lick between the shoulder blades. “Right Keitan?”

The daemon’s mouth twisted into a sly smile akin to the one presently spread across Nino’s face. Seriaya’s ears folded back threateningly. The door opened and their sempai appeared in the archway, letting them all know it was time to start the dance rehearsals. Several of the boys around the room moved to follow him out while others hastened to get changed faster to avoid being late yet again. Nino raised to his feet with half-hearted effort and strolled after them, playfully mumbling words of parting to Jun as he passed the smaller boy. Jun hung back for a moment longer as he and his daemon watched them go; all the while Seriaya’s glare did not shift from Keitan.

“We need to go” Jun told her gently after having already tried to pry her claws away from where they dug into the front of his shirt. He looked down at his daemon when she did not respond, and instead continued to stare at the open door. “What’s wrong?”

“His daemon” Seriaya whispered. “I don’t know how exactly, but it smelt male.”

Jun blinked in surprise. “That’s impossible though…isn’t it?”

“It’s rare,” his daemon replied.

“But Nino said she was a girl.”

“I’m just telling you what I smelt.” She reluctantly retracted her grip and dropped back onto the ground. “And of course he would say that. Don’t forget he also said that junior back there was his brother.”

“You think he’s lying about that too?” asked Jun, his gaze drifting back to the place where Nino’s alleged brother was finishing up with getting ready.

Seriaya flicked her tail. “Might be. Anyone whose daemon favours a form like that can’t possibly be honest.” Her words made Jun frown.  
“I think you’re just being paranoid” he told her. “Nino isn’t lying, I’m sure of it. He seems nice.”

Jun stood up and headed for the door. Seriaya trailed behind him with reluctant paces, her ears angled back in exasperation. It was just her luck that her human was fond of another whose daemon already drove her crazy.

\---

Aiba couldn’t keep his fascinated gaze from scouring the massive building standing before him. His head stretched back as far as his neck would allow in an attempt to see the very top of the immense structure, his mouth hanging open in awe even as he approached the rotating door of the entranceway

“You know the way, don’t you?” Lanae, his daemon asked curiously when they entered the building. She was currently in the form of a small pika resting on his shoulder but was watching Aiba’s expression closely as he roamed aimlessly through the wide corridors, drifting from door to door in an obvious lost display.

In spite of this, Aiba gave a grin and, with plenty of confidence, exclaimed, “Of course I do!”

Lanae’s whiskers twitched in response. It was difficult to trust him when she knew already he was bound to get them lost, but it was even harder to argue when the young boy would blatantly deny any adverse albeit rational opinion she tried to put forward. He never listened to her anyway, just as he didn’t listen when she had told him to research a little more about Johnny’s Jimusho before sending his application in.

“I still think you shouldn’t have brought this” she mumbled while she scurried down his arm to perch on the basketball Aiba was holding. He was fully clad in his sportswear, overly excited by the prospect of playing with SMAP just as he had been for weeks.

They had been wandering around the building for a good twenty minutes and had somehow found their way back to the entrance twice already. They were decidedly lost—just as Lanae anticipated they would end up being. Even Aiba’s cheery expression had fallen slightly as the realization that he indeed had no idea where he was going finally caught up with him. He removed the crumpled acceptance letter from his short’s pocket and double-checked the number of the room he was supposed to go to for his audition. He continued to walk, teetering his way down the corridor in a zigzagging pattern as his gaze remained fixated on the letter. Lanae stood on her hind legs to act as his eyes instead and examine the numbers atop the frames of the various doors in the hallways around them. Eventually spotting the right combination of digits, she scampered down Aiba’s body and hurried over, shifting into a gecko to cling to the doorframe.

“Masaki” she called for him. He looked up, startled by his daemon’s voice, and darted over to her. A wide grin returned to his face when he looked up at her and saw the number.

“We found it!” he exclaimed happily.

Lanae dropped back down onto his shoulder and changed into a pika once more. “Actually I found it.”

Aiba wasn’t listening, too busy grappling with the door handle to open it and enter the room which was already set up in preparation for his audition to take place. He introduced himself and his daemon to those who would be assessing him as well as to the camera set up for recording. His excitement and nerves were parallel with each other as he proceeded with the audition but when the word _dancing_ arose, Aiba’s confidence disintegrated instantly in his first time realizing the purpose of the agency. Left completely flustered by the sudden realization and added awareness of how inaptly he was dressed, it was all Lanae could do to hide herself away in his pocket until the embarrassment had ended.

Even years later she was still questioning just how Aiba had managed to get accepted into the agency.

\---

Ohno Satoshi had become somewhat of a legend among the other Johnny’s juniors. Many spoke of him but few were known to have ever seen him. He did not participate in their regular variety show, instead being preoccupied in Kyoto starring in a stage performance that to a lot of the other boys was something akin to a distant dream they all shared. Stories about Ohno were mostly passed from the older boys, those rare few who actually knew the mysterious legend in person. The younger juniors were awed by the tales of the seldom seen junior who starred in stage plays in other prefectures and whose dancing skills were renowned among even the most talented of their sempai.

The legend seemingly grew with each person who entered the agency, expanding far beyond the margin of fact. New rumours spread like wildfire throughout the jimusho. There were stories about his dancing ability—“he’s a child prodigy, the best in the agency!”—and others which claimed he was scouted by Johnny-san himself. There were even rumours about his daemon. She was generally revelled by the other junior boys for being a powerful and majestic being, unlike anything any of them had ever seen. Some were convinced Ohno’s bond with her was so strong that his daemon remained in Tokyo while he was in Kyoto performing. While that particular rumour was more dubious among the juniors, most did believe the one claiming his daemon had already settled and had taken the imposing form of a lion.

With such overbearing rumours circling the jimusho, everyone was highly anticipating the day Ohno returned to Tokyo so that they might see for themselves the grandeur of this living legend. Just about all of the juniors had questions they wanted to ask him. No one had been expecting Ohno to return as quietly as he did, just as no one had expected the silent boy sitting at the back of the rehearsal room with one hand picking at his nose while his slow loris daemon slept soundly around his other arm to be the same legend they had all marvelled at. He cared not for the choreography lesson that was taking place and blatantly ignored their instructor’s words, to the point of having things thrown at him in retaliation—an action which would usually startle his daemon awake and cause a reflexively triggered shift in her forms. Ohno would never stay for the full duration of their rehearsals, always leaving at some point midway through. During the rare times he was made to participate in any variety program, instead of playing to the affections of the audience as the other juniors did, he would stare directly at them while itching at the inside of his nostril. In the end there had been no need to ask if the rumours were true.

Nevertheless the other juniors still liked him. He would often fall asleep in the changing rooms of the agency, which made for fun opportunities for the other boys to mess with him. One of the most common pranks they liked to pull was stacking things on top of him while he slept to see just how far they could go before he woke up. Their actions never seemed to rouse him though. When Ohno did eventually awaken on his own, he would not even blink as multiple plastic cups tumbled down onto the table around him. He did however take a few minutes to wonder what had happened to Kai before noticing the slightly budging upside-down basket that had been placed over her as well.

\---

Filming of 8-ji da J episodes were a fun and enjoyable experience. For the juniors it was their chance to stand in the spotlight and get their first proper glimpse into world of entertainment. For their daemons too the experience was enjoyable. The regular broadcasting of the program meant each of the daemons were frequently allowed in what was otherwise a rare opportunity to remain painlessly by their humans sides. They weren’t allowed to actively participate in the show but the daemons were still known to favour the duration of each episode as it enabled them to share in the limelight. For this reason, caution was taken by human and daemon alike to ensure no disruptions were made that might hinder the filming. Live audience broadcasts required additional restraint but everyone made an effort to follow the rules of the agency to keep things running smoothly.

Hiromi called for the group of juniors chosen for today’s grand prix segment, watching with his jackal daemon by his side as the young boys came running in. They lined themselves up at the front of the stage, their daemons already in the forms of smaller animals that would not get in the way of the shot. Their acrobatics coach announced the stunt they would be performing today: a front handspring. He then went on to demonstrate the trick in front of all the juniors.

Sho had been dreading ever since finding out he was one of the chosen juniors to participate in today’s filming. Neither he nor his daemon were keen about this segment of the show, knowing Sho’s lacking flexibility typically resulted in an embarrassing flop whenever he attempted to perform the same acrobatic tricks the other juniors did. Both were observing closely now as each of the juniors in line before them stepped forward to make their attempt. Some were able to do it flawlessly while others made a stumble here or there, those of which were given tips by their coach on what they did wrong and how they could better their skills. It was somewhat degrading in Sho’s opinion when juniors much smaller and younger than himself were able to achieve the handspring perfectly on their first try. Makami, in the form of a hummingbird, took flight to keep their place in line when Sho was called forward as the next to perform the stunt. She couldn’t bear to watch.

Sho exhaled softly when he stepped onto the edge of the mat, taking a moment to mentally prepare himself for the trick he was about to try. The sound of the whistle being blown was piercing and seemed to snap him out of his thoughts, his feet running forward over the mat in the beginnings of the handspring. He lunged forward into a handstand and pushed his weight forward so that his body would upend necessarily, before using his hands to spring back up from the mat. His mind was lost in a dizzying spell as he flipped and a startled shout escaped his lips. Pushing too hard and returning the right side up before he was ready to catch himself, Sho ended up landing hard on his backside. His lack of balance resulted in Makami losing flight and dropping clumsily to the ground a heartbeat later with a shrill chirp. The studio erupted in laughter even as Sho dragged himself back up to his feet and begrudgingly returned to his place in line. Helping Makami back up as well, Sho didn’t even bother listening to the coach’s advice or the snark comments Hiromi directed at him for his failed attempt.


	3. Before there was Five

When it was announced he would be a member of a Johnny’s junior group, Jun had been very excited. As well as getting further popularity within the agency, it was like receiving a taster of what life would be like for them once they had debuted for real. They became much busier as their schedules filled with various photoshoots, filming and on location shoots. They were like celebrities among celebrities. At least two of them would be shown as main figures in the different segments of their variety programs, and most of the time they would all be grouped together within the front row where they could enjoy the spotlight. Jun couldn’t have been happier to have such an opportunity.

His views were mostly shared by the others. Aiba too had been excited, though his enthusiasm may have been more to do with the specific members he had been put together with than for the group itself. Ikuta Toma, the youngest and smallest of the four, was very keen by the opportunities created from being a part of the group. Without the intention of debuting, Nino had been probably the least enthusiastic of the four of them but even he was able to find some enjoyment within the group through the acting jobs he was able to attain and just the overall fun which came with being with the other three members.

The group had been entitled M.A.I.N, named after the first initial of each of the four members. Jun was also very pleased by the other boys he was paired with in the group. They all got along well with one another, though the same could not necessarily be said for their daemons. Much to Jun’s displeasure, Seriaya’s unfavourable attitude towards Nino’s daemon did not improve even when it was decided the two boys would be working together in the same junior group. Photoshoots were made a mess when the daemons tackled each other, knocking into the various equipment as they rolled locked together across the floor. Similar hostile conduct where their daemons refused to listen to them, too absorbed in grappling with one another, would often result in both boys being placed in the undesirable situation of explaining themselves to their choreography instructor when they arrived late to lessons. Broadcasts were uneventful but during breaks between filming, the two daemons would often start with the fighting yet again. Though somewhat glad for the fact that they at least waited for the cameras to be off before acting up, Jun was much less enthused in knowing for certain that such tussles were initiated from both sides. He was also really getting sick and tired of going home aching from the sensation of scratches covering his body.

Jun couldn’t understand why his daemon was acting in such a way. He was well aware of Keitan’s teasing nature, having been on the receiving end of his human’s equally mischievous disposition more than once, but it was all in good fun. Jun was convinced Nino—and by extension Keitan—did not mean any harm. The fact that he liked Nino despite his sharp-tongue only made Jun even more confused by Seriaya’s obvious aversion to the other boy’s daemon. He had always thought daemons were supposed to respond to one another based on the interactions of their humans, so could not comprehend why Seriaya was acting so differently to himself. Needless to say, Jun was worried. Should this antagonistic relation between their daemons continue, he feared for what it would end up doing to M.A.I.N. The last thing he wanted was for the group or their friendships to suffer because of his daemon.

\---

Seriaya liked Toma’s daemon best. Asura was fun, cordial and just nice to be around in general, even if they did enjoy play fighting every now and then. Unlike her hostile disputes with Keitan, the tussles she had with Asura were always amicable; a frivolous challenge to see who would come out on top. Their humans interacted of a similar accord. Jun and Toma, despite the close friendship that had developed between them, could always be found wrestling. On more than one occasion they’d been told off by their sempai for acting too roughly in the rehearsal room or location bus. Such reprimanding never did much to stop them though.

Backstage was bustling with energy as staff and actors moved about in preparation for the show that was about to start. There was great anticipation in the air as the members of M.A.I.N waited for the curtain that would soon be raised. The four of them had been cast for roles in a stage play together. Long weeks of rehearsing had finally come together for the real thing that was about to begin. Nino was soon called upon to make his entrance, with Keitan remaining at the edge of the stage out of sight from all those in the audience. Alone until the time where they too would receive their cues to join their friend onstage, Aiba, Jun and Toma were left to entertain themselves backstage in the meantime.

It started with a couple of pokes from a grinning Toma, who received a retaliation shove that was light but still hard enough to cause the younger boy to stagger slightly. Asura, in the form of a cocker spaniel, offered the currently feline Seriaya a play bow. Jun’s daemon quickly shifted into her usual form. Almost as soon as she had, Asura pounced and tackled her to the ground. Jun and Toma were soon locked in a wrestle, whispered shouts of gaiety sounding from them both while yipping resonated from their equally frivolous daemons tussling at their feet.

Toma pushed Jun with a bit too much strength, resulting in the latter crashing into the table situated behind them. Jun stumbled to catch himself in time. As his body collided with the table, several props that had been set upon it fell to the ground. Aiba, who had been approaching them to tell them to cut it out before the audience heard their ruckus, bit down hard on his lip to keep from yelling when something heavy and metal struck his leg. All fighting came to an immediate and grinding halt. Seeing the rage forming on the taller boy’s features, Toma snuck away as far as he could with Asura running after him with just as much haste. But it wouldn’t have mattered as Aiba’s furious gaze was pinned on Jun. Seriaya shifted hastily into a hare as she tried to flee but Lanae pounced forward and caught the other daemon harmlessly in her jaws. The lynx then dragged her to back to where her human held Jun tightly by his arm.

Aiba was practically shaking with indignation and pain. He was fed up with the fighting between his two fellow members, even it was light-hearted. Their shouts had been irritating him enough as he’d been trying to get into a ready mindset for the role he was about to perform.

“Let me hit you once” Aiba growled, trying not to wince at the pang that occurred from the throbbing bruise already forming on his shin. As much as he would have wanted to do more, to properly tell the both of them off, the stage play had begun and they were pressed for time. Striking Jun once would suffice for now, Aiba supposed.

Jun nodded sheepishly but was given no time to consider what was even happening as Aiba shunted him forward and struck him hard at the waist. Jun’s knees buckled, and he and Seriaya collapsed to the ground with a whimper. Aiba and Lanae followed soon after as the pain in their own legs became too much to handle. The two boys knelt on the ground with their daemons, both in too much agony to lift themselves back up. The play had started and they could all hear the staff members calling for them to make their entrance on stage but neither could move. Feelings of relief, concern and apprehension were overwhelming Toma as he was left standing alone with his two injured friends, looking back and forth between them while wondering what he was supposed to do now.

\---

“I hope we can stay like this forever.”

Keitan opened his eyes to narrow slits while Nino lifted his head, turning to look at his fatigued friend who had spoken words so slurred he wasn’t entirely sure Aiba was fully awake. It wouldn’t be the first time Nino had caught him mumbling nonsense in his sleep.

The two of them and their daemons were on the train travelling home after yet another long, tiring day. Today had been more intense than usual and ended later than they were used to. By the time they had left the jimusho, the sun had been setting. They hadn’t been on the train for long but already it was dark outside. Both were utterly exhausted. Aiba couldn’t even keep his eyes open, with Lanae curled up on his shoulder looking legitimately asleep, while Nino felt like his body was made out of lead. He felt so heavy and stiff; he was worried he would not be able to even stand by the time the train had reached his stop. Keitan rested across his lap, his head and paws dangling limply over the side of Nino’s legs. His daemon looked in as just as a bad condition as Nino felt.

Nino stretched his neck to lean his head over the back of the seat. A faint smirk played on his lips as he thought about Aiba’s remark.

“You want to stay a gangly teenager forever?” he teased. Even his voice sounded tired and as much as Nino would have wanted to put more effort behind his banter, he did not have the energy to do so. A rasping chuckle sounded from his friend.

“No.” Aiba gave a weary smile of his own despite his eyes still being closed. “I mean as us, the four of us.”

“Of course we will. We’re friends, aren’t we?” Nino shifted slightly in a weak attempt to find a more comfortable position. Keitan grunted on his lap when he moved.

“Yeah but I want to remain as M.A.I.N” Aiba whined.

Nino stifled a yawn. “Your wish will probably come true. Chances are we’re going to debut pretty soon anyway.”

“Will you stay if we do?”

Silence followed Aiba’s question. Nino was glad Aiba had his eyes closed for at least then his friend would not be able to see the terrible conflict occurring in his usually steady gaze. Nino honestly wasn’t sure how to answer his friend when his intentions of quitting the agency seemed to be common knowledge. He had bigger dreams; his friends all knew this, as did most in the jimusho. But it posed a problem for him now as he knew Aiba was patiently waiting for him to give an answer. He could lie, probably unconvincingly given how well Aiba knew him. Nino knew it wouldn’t do him any good to lie to his friend now though— Aiba would be neither persuaded nor happy with him forcing the answer he desired to hear. But then again Nino couldn’t exactly tell the truth and repeat what Aiba already knew. It didn’t matter what answer he ended up giving; in the end, he would only bring pain to his friend.

“Maybe.” It was the answer Nino settled for giving and really the only thing he could think of to say in that moment. He turned away from Aiba to avoid facing his friend’s annoyingly doe-eyed gaze. Keitan sat up on his lap and stared at him, but said nothing.

Aiba opened his eyes and rotated in his seat to face the other boy. Nino had closed his eyes in a brief moment of attempted respite from the obvious internal struggle his question had brought on. It caused a feeling of guilt to prick in Aiba’s chest, having not intended to cause his friend such torment with his innocent question. Lanae nudged his cheek sympathetically. Aiba barely registered her touch even as he absentmindedly raised his hand to stroke her. Only moments later she jumped from his shoulder to the windowpane, scurrying across the backs of the seat and standing on her hind legs once she was directly above Nino. Keitan saw this and leapt up beside her. They touched noses, nuzzling one another in a display of reassurance and amity.

Aiba hadn’t meant to ask what he had; he’d merely been caught in the moment of dreaming about their future together as four. But alas they had not debuted as four, but as five. None of them had been expecting a single member of M.A.I.N to be left out, forced to watch as his friends moved forward without him. Guilt had overwhelmed Nino to see Toma and Asura left behind when he didn’t even want to continue in the company, let alone debut. He knew the younger boy’s ambitions had run as deeply as Jun’s had, which only made Nino feel that much worse about the position he suddenly found himself in. He had unintentionally stolen one friend’s dream and was now forced to decide if he would destroy that of another’s.

It had been with sad smiles and timid promises of always being together whether they were in a group with each other or not, that three had said farewell to one.


	4. The Storm Begins

It was official: Arashi had formed. The five of them were on their way to Hawaii, the strong ocean-scented winds blowing them about as they stood atop the deck of the boat. The main island was coming into view. Before long they would be required to transfer to a smaller vessel where they would then make port on the isle of Hawaii. Interviews, television broadcasts and conferences would all be held to mark the announcement of Johnny’s newest debuted group. Their first ever concert together would be held in two days’ time. Their future stood before them but the atmosphere was tense.

Despite waving and playing it up for the filming they knew was occurring to commemorate the formation of the group, there was much tension, grievance and resentment hidden beneath the fake smiles plastered across each of their faces. From all the juniors in the agency that had been waiting and wanting their chance to debut, these five boys were chosen. But the reality was of the five of them, three did not want to be there. The moment the cameras stopped recording, the façade was dropped.

Aiba shifted his weight from foot to foot, awkwardly standing at the edge of the deck in front of the small staircase leading to the below area. He felt uncomfortable enough as it was, having been the only one among the five of them who hadn’t known of his involvement with this new group until the very last minute. The instructions he’d received were unclear to him and left him wondering why he of all people had been chosen. He was unsure of what he was doing there and honestly just wanted to draw the least amount of attention to himself as possible, already having decided to simply go along with and do whatever was asked of him in the hopes that things would not get even more confusing. So he stood fiddling with the sleeve of his shirt with Lanae almost hiding behind him in her recently settled wallaby form. She had only settled about three months ago and both of them were still getting used to her sudden inability to shift. Aiba couldn’t remember her taking a similar form before, so acquainting himself with her new look was taking a bit of time.

Together they observed as others on the boat around them moved about. The few staff they had aboard with them were organizing the filming equipment and discussing which shots would be best to take upon docking. Aiba could see Sho, Ohno and Jun, all respectively with their daemons, scattered around the deck of the ship. Now that they weren’t being filmed the distance between them all had grown immensely. There was no excitement in the air. Nino, Aiba knew already, was down below trying his best not to throw up from the terrible motion sickness being on the boat was causing him and Keitan. Sho’s features were set in a sort of glower while Ohno was staring at nothing in particular, no indication of any significant emotion being shown on his face. The expressions of the two older boys were quite contrasting. Even their daemons would not settle themselves. Jun was gazing out over the side of the boat with Seriaya by his side, her muzzle stuck through the railing. Her ears were angled back and her flaccid tail hung between her legs. There was a sad, borderline fearful glint in Jun’s eye, one that concealed any trace of lingering excitement the teen may have been feeling towards the debut he’d waited for so long to achieve. Looking at him, Aiba could not help feeling a little disheartened. Being in M.A.I.N together had resulted in all of them knowing just how eager Jun was to debut. Aiba had thought that now they had, Jun would be happy about it but he could see how obvious it was that this was not the case. The younger could read the unenthused attitudes coming from the other three members, and Aiba could guess Jun was now left feeling confused and anxious about what it meant for them all if three out of five had blatant intentions of quitting.

\---

Nino felt terrible. The constant rocking of the boat had caused a whirlwind inside of him, his innards twisting and churning until his stomach emptied itself of all its contents. Nino had hoped in vain that once there was nothing left to throw up, the sickness would lift. It had not been the case. His body decided there was still things within him triggering an endless nausea that left him a shivering, sweating mess on the small bench he was currently curled up on. Keitan was trembling beneath him, buried in Nino’s thin paled arms that were wrapped around the little fox. With fur entirely unkempt and a body so scrawny beneath his own, Nino had to admit his daemon looked weaker than he had seen for quite some time.

“I hate this” Nino grumbled.

“That makes two of us” came the response from underneath him. Nino readjusted himself as best he could, rolling onto his side a little more and feeling as Keitan’s cold, damp nose nuzzled his arms. Nino winced when he felt another wave of nausea hit him. “Why a boat…why Hawaii?” he whined as the taste of bile rose in his throat and threatened to make him gag. He choked back the sensation and let his head collapse onto the bench once more, curling further into himself and his daemon with a queasy whimper.

“Maybe they wanted to trap us so we wouldn’t be able to leave.”

Keitan’s reply, though said with a clear flippant undertone, made Nino’s groggy head start to spin with various questions about whether his daemon had a point. It made sense, strangely enough. Johnny-san knew three of the members he intended for Arashi were keen to leave the agency, yet he chose them to debut regardless. Perhaps Keitan was on to something in saying their choice of location for debut was deliberately selected to contain their situation and thus limit their options to leave, at least for the time being.

This had never meant to be a permanent thing. His only reason for joining in the first place was to receive the bribe his mother had offered him for auditioning, and then later continuing. Debuting was not something he wanted. He had dreams of his own, ambitions he wished to chase to the other ends of the world. He would study directing and make his mark on this earth through the opposite side of entertainment; not become an idol limited to the borders Asia. It was this thought that made Nino laugh a little, even if it did come out sounding more like a dying man’s rasping last breath. He remembered the concept of this new group they had all been informed of. A storm around the world—just thinking about it made Nino want to roll his eyes at the ridiculousness of it all. Even if he did want to be there, he saw them having no chance at achieving anything close to that foolish dreaming. They would be lucky to get a foothold in the already booming world of entertainment where idols and artists were surplus. Nino couldn’t see why they would though. He had nothing against the other members he had been grouped with but he saw nothing particularly special about any of them, himself included. They were just five ordinary young boys. Surely nothing they had would prioritize them as higher than any of the other countless artists there were out there already.

There was a banging against the door to the below deck area and a muffled voice from one of the staff members telling him he needed to come back up so that they could change boats and proceed with the filming. Nino groaned and turned over so his face was buried in the seat. He felt Keitan squirming beneath his body as he fell heavily against his daemon, a suffocating feeling overwhelming Nino as well like his own body was being crushed by an invisible force. Something hard hit his stomach and the sensation lifted, followed by a soft thud on the ground beside him. He lazily looked over the edge to see Keitan on the floor, shaking his dishevelled pelt and turning to glare up at his smirking human in annoyance. He could have sworn on some level Nino had done that deliberately.

\---

Sho clicked his tongue in annoyance as he paced back and forth in the hotel room. He wanted to get off this stupid island already. It had only been half a day but already it was too much for him to take. He hadn’t even wanted to be there in the first place, having been intending to quit mere days before all of this, and now suddenly he’d found himself stuck on a one-way trip to becoming an idol.

“Would you cut it out already?” sighed Makami. She was perched on his shoulder in her settled form of a sparrow and had evidently grown tired of Sho’s continuous pacing in a futile effort to cease his irritation.

Sho did not listen to her. He wanted out—it was the only thing he wanted right now—but knew he couldn’t just yet. To quit immediately would mean letting down far too many people and he had no intention of doing that. It was one of the reasons he’d tried to quit before being chosen to debut. But now it seemed like he was too late. Unable to express his frustration to anyone else or in any other form, Sho decided to take it out on himself to some extent by disregarding Makami. Unfortunately his daemon seemed to have a similar thought as she took flight a couple of moments later and pecked Sho’s ear just above his earring. The two of them let out synchronized cries. Sho clutched his throbbing ear and glared at his daemon, noticing the way her head was tilted to try and ease the identical pain occurring on the side of her face.

“There’s nothing you can do” she snapped at him. “We’re here now so just relax for two seconds, would you?”

Ohno was sitting along the edge of one of the three beds in the joint room, having been watching the scene playing out in front of him. It was undeniably interesting to watch even if he wasn’t feeling any more favourable towards their circumstances than Sho was. He could easily sympathize with the other boy; he too was upset about the whole debut thing and for similar reasons, though Ohno was still honestly wondering how he’d ended up mixed in with all this. When Johnny-san had asked him to help out with the recording of another soon-to-be debuted group, he hadn’t thought much about it and agreed. Unknowingly to him, he had been digging his own grave by doing so.

It had taken Ohno a while to realize that he was in fact a part of the debuting idol group. For the most part he was still convinced he was only there to assist with the recordings. Even as the group conferences and individual interviews were taking place, he failed to make the connection. In the end it was Kai who had to inform him of the reality of their new situation.

“She has a point” Ohno said from where he was, his heels kicking softly at the bed on which he sat. Sho jolted slightly and turned to look at him. Ohno was fairly certain the other boy had completely forgotten he was there.

The two of them and Aiba, who was currently partaking in his individual interview, were assigned to share the adjoining rooms. Nino and Jun would be sharing the room two doors down from them. None of them had held much of a reaction when management informed them of their joint living arrangements for the duration of their stay. The boys were far too caught up in the confusion and aggravation of their newfound debut situation to care for what rooms they would be staying in.

Sho glared at him. “I don’t want to hear that from you” he spat.

The bed Ohno was on bounced slightly as Kai came forward. The small simian looked to her human.

“How rude” she stated loud enough for Sho to hear.

Ohno shrugged. “Let him have his tantrum.”

His tone was emotionless, with no hidden hostility behind it. Sho’s expression had been firm and his words may have been harsh, but his eyes gave away the lacking power held behind all he had said. Ohno could easily see this and took no offence to the severe tone directed at him, not when he could quite easily see Sho’s anger was most certainly not directed at him personally. Ohno meant what he’d told Kai though. The other boy was in need of a way to let out his frustrations; if acting as a punching bag for the time being was what was needed, Ohno was fine to let that be the case. After all, they were all stuck in this together.

\---

Sharing a room with Nino had been far from ideal in Jun’s mind. Generally speaking he hadn’t minded, knowing the two of them would get along just fine. It was their daemons that had him worried. Jun had seen how sick Nino and Keitan both looked on the boat, growing concerned for them when they’d been forced to act fine and wave for the cameras when the ship came into port. They hadn’t even been given any time to rest once they were all back on dry land as the five of them were soon whisked off to their first of many back-to-back events commemorating their debut. As an exception to the usual rules due to it being their group’s debut, the boys’ daemons were made to stand to the side away from the cameras and out of the shot as each interview and photoshoot took place, the unannounced separation only exhausting them further. By the time the members were finally checked into their hotel accommodation and free to recover from the long, tiresome day they’d endured, Nino had looked like death. Skin paler than usual and covered in a seemingly permanent sheen of sweat; Jun feared his friend and fellow member would collapse at any given moment and not wake.

With Nino weakened the way he was owing to the unfortunate bout of seasickness he could not shake despite being long off that boat, the boy’s daemon was in just as bad a condition. Keitan could barely walk and would be absolutely no match to Seriaya if she chose to fight him now. Jun was terrified that she would. He felt a constant need to keep an eye on her to reassure himself that she wasn’t attacking him that moment, though it did nothing to lessen his fear that she would ambush the poor fox daemon the second Jun turned his back.

Nino lay on his back on the bedspread. His eyes were closed tight; his head was spinning so much if he were to open them he would probably end up throwing up straight away. Keitan was tucked up against his side. The fur of his daemon’s tail felt coarser than Nino remembered it being. It made him yearn for the soft touch he was used to. Something cool and firm was suddenly pressed against his forehead. A contented sigh was pulled from his lips at the refreshing sensation that rushed through his body, seeming to ease the dizziness. The longer the cooling entity was held against his head, the more the nauseating whirling of his mind began to fade into more of a gentle swirl. A new sensation occurred without warning and made Nino gasp silently at the abruptness of it. It was gentle and soothing, and made his skin tingle with content. It felt so nice. He could sense Keitan as well giving into the bliss seeping into their bodies.

Jun placed the cold pack over Nino’s forehead. He had felt the worryingly severe heat radiating from the other boy’s skin and knew he had to do something lest Nino develop a fever. It was an outcome which was unfavourable for numerous reasons, but more than anything Jun wasn’t going to just stand back and watch a friend get sick when he could do something to help. He glanced over to the balcony window. The room was fairly stuffy and he was starting to get lightheaded himself; a cool breeze would do them all good. As Jun got to his feet and made a move to go open the window, Seriaya reared up and placed her front paws on the bed, stretching her long muzzle out to sniff Keitan.

“Don’t.”

She turned to meet his gaze, remaining where she was halfway across the bed. Jun gave her a stern look.

“I’m not that cruel” she barked at him.

Jun watched her carefully for a moment or two longer, her glaring gaze not breaking eye contact with him even for a second. He moved slowly over to the balcony but was forced to turn away from his daemon as he was unsuccessful in opening it without looking. Grappling with the odd handle, he eventually managed to pry it open and let in the cool breeze that swept through the interior of the room, filling the area with a crisp freshness. When he turned back to return to Nino’s bedside, Jun froze at what he saw. Seriaya was leaning even further over the bed than she had been before so that her face was very close to Keitan’s. Her tongue was running over the other daemon’s fur in long, gentle strokes, smoothing it. A smile graced Jun’s lips at the sight. It was his first time seeing his daemon acting sweetly towards Nino’s. Years of quarrelling and now she was nursing him back to health.

Under Jun and Seriaya’s care, it wasn’t long before Nino’s sickness subsided. He blinked his eyes open and smiled slightly upon seeing Jun and his daemon there as well. Keitan rose to his paws when the nausea finally lifted. His sudden movement startled Seriaya and caused her to stumble back from the bed. The markings along her pelt darkened slightly and her eyes turned from a warm brown to an icy blue, flashing almost dangerously in conjunction with the reflexive and emotional shift. Nino stared at Jun’s daemon in shock.

“She hasn’t settled yet” he stammered. He could hardly believe his own words despite what he just witnessed. Daemons were known to settle around the beginning of adolescence. His own daemon had settled as a fox a little over a year ago.

Seriaya’s ears fell flat against her head. A strained whimper sounded from her closed jaws, glancing up at Keitan for a fleeting moment before changing into a moth and flying into the folds of Jun’s clothing to hide. Jun could not meet Nino’s eyes. He did not blame the other boy for looking as stunned as he was now. The rest of Arashi all assumed Seriaya had settled on her husky form around the time when their own daemons had settled. To learn she had not was no doubt an unexpected surprise, one Nino evidently had no snarky comment to share upon discovering.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Nino sounded like he was genuinely asking. His tone revealed he was baffled and almost upset, if Jun was hearing right. Though why he was feeling the latter was not something he could properly comprehend.

Jun knew the answer to his question though. He had been ashamed. The other member’s daemons had all settled already—quite some time ago actually—this much Jun knew for certain. He loved Seriaya but he feared the response he would receive if anyone else knew she was yet to settle. Not wanting to risk it, they devised a plan to have her remain in her preferred canine form to create the illusion of a settled daemon. For over a year it had been an effective scheme but now Nino knew the truth. Everything had been ruined.

Sighing under his breath, Jun reached into his shirt and grasped Seriaya’s wings gently with his fingertips to pull her back out. She shifted in his arms into a cat. Her tawny eyes stared straight at Keitan while she held herself as close to Jun’s chest as possible.

“I couldn’t” Jun muttered, unable to meet his friend’s gaze.

“We’ve known each other for years” Nino reminded him, his voice taking on a harsher tone. “How could you keep something like this from us?”

It was this statement that caused anger to bubble up in Jun’s chest. “How about your secret then?” He placed Seriaya back down onto her own feet, seeing the way she stalked over to where Keitan stood in a challenging stance. “When exactly were you planning on telling us that your daemon was male?”

Nino’s mouth hung open slightly while Keitan withdrew a couple of steps, the two of them exchanging nervous glances.

“How long have you known?”

“The day we met” hissed Seriaya.

Jun nodded in agreement with his daemon and stared at Nino with intensity burning in his gaze. “So don’t you dare tell me off for not telling you about Seriaya being yet to settle.”

Jun turned on his heel and paced across the room to go out onto the balcony with Seriaya close at hand. He needed some fresh air and some time to cool off.

“You don’t actually plan on keeping this a secret, do you?” Keitan’s scathing voice followed them close behind.

“Well I sure as hell don’t plan on telling the others,” Jun spat back. Looking back over her shoulder to glare at them both, Seriaya added, “You better not either.”

Nino crossed his arms, fleetingly glancing down at his daemon to see him give a sharp nod. “Fine, we’ll keep your secret” he called after them. Jun stopped in the open doorframe leading to the balcony. “But you know everyone will find out eventually. You can’t decide what your daemon settles as, Jun. You know that.”

There was a brief moment where silence fell between them. Neither Jun nor Seriaya moved and for a split second, Nino thought maybe the younger would turn around and come back inside. But when the moment had passed, Jun stormed forward and slammed the door to the balcony shut behind them.

Nino’s words haunted his mind. Yeah, he knew. He knew perfectly well that he could not choose what Seriaya would settle as, nor did he had even the slightest clue when she would finally settle, but that didn’t stop Jun from trying to convince himself that he maybe he could.


	5. Until the Dust Settles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most chapters will be in drabble form but there will be the occasional one that is made up of different interrelated perspectives of one event, such as this one. Also in case you were interested, the Utaban moment was from the episode with Arashi as the guests (obviously) which aired 2002.02.07.

More than two years had passed since Arashi’s debut and Seriaya still hadn’t settled. Jun was growing increasingly irritable by this troubling detail, added with the fact that he had absolutely no idea why she had not yet taken a permanent form. His irritation was only made worse with the declining sales and lacking popularity they were receiving as a group. It frustrated Jun to know they weren’t doing anywhere near as well as he knew they had the potential to do. With every passing week he was beginning to witness the darker side of the entertainment world, building an understanding that idol life was far from all glitz and glamour.

The group’s dynamics were failing as well and Jun found himself questioning his place within Arashi. Being the youngest, the other members still tended to treat him like a child, much to his displeasure. He was the little brother, the baby of the group; subject to most of the jibes from the other members much like if they really were a dysfunctional family. Though whether it was a conscious treatment or not, Jun couldn’t be sure. He was tired of these awkward years of his late adolescence that never seemed to end. His patience was starting to be worn thin by the others, especially Sho—the same Sho whom he had admired for a number of years from back when they were juniors, who had taken the time to tutor him and encouraged him to continue in school, was now the one to make Jun’s blood boil. In the past Jun had seen their relationship as akin to brothers; the teasing, the mistreatment and the protective vibe he felt from Sho all aligned to make him see them as being that way. But since becoming members of the same group, that feeling had changed. The treatment he received from Sho was now nothing short of harassment and a cruel way of taking advantage of the younger’s quickly diminishing idolatry as a way of better coping with the stresses they were all feeling. Jun could feel his adoration for the other boy fading fast and knew with the building frustrations of everything else, it would only be a matter of time before he snapped.

Nino was still the only person who knew of his and Seriaya’s secret; Jun was not ready for anyone else, and by extension the rest of Arashi, to know yet. It was embarrassing, shameful even. With any luck Seriaya would end up settling soon and as her favoured form which everyone already assumed was what she had settled as to save them both from the humiliation of having to explain themselves.

But it seemed fate was against them.

The five of them were on-set for a recording of Utaban. They had guested on their sempai’s show on several different occasions before and had developed a better understanding of how to act to provide the best entertainment for the program. Despite the limited popularity they were currently facing, Arashi were already viewed as esteemed guests for the show, helped mostly by Ohno’s rivalry with Nakai. Even their daemons would play along to create an even greater dynamic between them. It certainly made for good TV when the other members’ daemons jumped up to intervene Nakai’s hawk daemon as she swooped at Kai in the same moment that the rest of Arashi reacted to defend their leader from their angered sempai. The members could all easily assume this was why they received recurring invitations to appear every few months.

They were presently in the middle of filming, starting up with the next segment which revealed various undesirable moments between each of the members. Jun was first. When the moment was shown, even before telling the anecdote to clarify to everyone else just what had happened, Jun had turned to Sho and immediately apologized. He knew already what the revealed incident was about and that he was in the wrong for having called when he did. He hoped apologizing would be enough as he really wasn’t in the right frame of mind to deal with having it exposed to everyone but when Sho turned to him and uttered his reply of “I’ll kill you”, Jun realized the other boy had no intentions of letting sleeping dogs lie. Some of the other members laughed but there was a definite sense of it being forced to keep the atmosphere light. Jun smiled faintly to try and do the same. He knew from past experience that Sho often exaggerated his temperamental attitude and reactions for the sake of making whatever program they were on more interesting but as his favoured target since their days as juniors, it was getting harder and harder for Jun to keep from legitimately retaliating. Nakai went on to ask what the incident was about, with Sho jumping at the chance to criticize the younger further.

“This guy’s terrible” he exclaimed. Nino had moved back in his chair, unwilling to be sitting between them as he’d sensed the rising tension.

“Actually—”

“You, shut up!” Sho cut Jun off before he could speak. Jun turned away with a muttered apology. Emotion was building inside of him; an odd mix of anger and despair which bubbled together and made his eyes water slightly. Then it happened. A strange energy surged through him from the top of his head down through his limbs to the tips of his fingers, along his spine and into his legs until his whole body felt as though it were shaking. It was a sensation unlike anything he’d ever experienced and it scared him. When he glanced down at where Seriaya sat beside him, he choked on a gasp. She was changing. Her body was growing; her elongated muzzle became broader while her fur darkened and shortened to become a shimmering sheen of black. Lean muscle rippled under her sleek pelt, a long and supple tail streaming out behind her.

Seriaya stared down at herself in surprise. There were several shocked gasps that sounded from the table as well as from those off-set. Jun was horrified. He could feel his face growing hot, his senses dulling as he lost himself to the state of shock overwhelming his body. The whispers around him became muffled murmurs against his numb ears. Someone yelled for the filming to stop immediately, though he barely head this. He still felt like he was trembling and his chest had tightened to the point where he did not think he would be able to breathe. Exchanging a fleeting glance with his daemon, they both leapt up and raced off the set as fast as their legs would carry them.

\---

The other members of Arashi were left completely stunned by what they had just witnessed. Jun’s daemon had settled as a panther right before their eyes and now they were left sitting as four in the aftermath of him fleeing. None of them knew how to react.

“Well that’s something you don’t see every day” Nakai remarked, a hand coming up to cover his mouth. Even their sempai was left baffled from what had happened. He glanced at the other members. “You lot you probably ought to go after him.”

It took a while for any of them to move. In the back of their minds they knew Nakai was right in saying they needed to find Jun but they were far too shocked to move. Aside from Nino and Keitan, neither member nor daemon had known Seriaya was yet to settle. Granted, none of them had actually outright asked Jun if or when she settled but the daemon had kept her husky form for so long they all just assumed the obvious. Now they knew the two of them had been lying for all this time; it was difficult to process.

Eventually they managed to drag themselves up and trail after where their fifth member had disappeared, though moving at a much slower pace. Nino could hardly believe it. Turning to Keitan, he saw his daemon was looking just as confused by the unexpected incident which had taken place mere moments ago as he was. They both knew how hard the other members must have been taking this revelation. Regardless of his reasons why, Jun had lied to them and had continued to do so for years. Just by looking around at the perplexed expressions of them all, daemons included, Nino could tell things were not going to end well. He’d told Jun not to keep this secret from them all but the other man hadn’t listened, and now he would be forced to pay the price.

Keitan was at the front of the group with his muzzle down as he tracked Seriaya. Recently settled, her scent was also affected and had altered from what he was familiar with to make finding her that much harder. Lanae bounded alongside him, aiding the fox daemon as best she could. Kai was zigzagging through the set close behind as she climbed up whatever she could to try and spot any indication of where the other daemon and Jun had gone. Makami remained on Sho’s shoulder.

“What are we going to do about the filming?” Aiba asked while they walked, searching the television station for where Jun had gone with the assistance of their daemons.

“We’ll worry about that after we’ve found him and brought him back” Nino grumbled while Ohno gave a soft hum.

“They’ll probably edit out what happened and reshoot from where we left off.”

“Lucky for Jun it wasn’t a live recording” Aiba mused with a slight grimace as the thought of what could have easily happened crossed his mind.

“Does he really think he can just run away and pretend it never happened?” The question had come from Sho. His hands were in his pockets as he walked, a look of indifference across his features.

Aiba frowned. Lanae stopped where she was and twisted around to look at them. “Maybe instead of asking that you should make yourself useful and help us.”

Sho glanced at Aiba’s daemon with a look of indignation before turning to his own, shrugging in response with a muttered, “fine”. The sparrow wordlessly took flight and helped Kai keep a lookout from a higher angle.

The four of them made it out into the hallways leading to the various meeting areas and dressing rooms. The scent trail led to the first door on the right but it was locked. They were at a dead end. Aiba had already tried calling through the door to see if Jun would answer, assuming he was in fact inside, but silence was the only response he received in return. Keitan was crouched by the foot of the door. He stuck his paw underneath to try and feel for anything, growling for Seriaya to come out already. Makami watched him from where she was on the floor beside the other daemons.

“You’re wasting your breath” she told him with an exasperated tone. “Seriaya might have settled as a panther but she’s still a coward.”

Keitan withdrew his paw and turned to glare down at the little bird. “I hope she eats you.”

\---

Jun didn’t look back as he fled far from the Utaban set. Even if they had still been filming, he was certain he wouldn’t have cared. He just needed to get out of there as fast as possible. Seriaya ran alongside him, her large paws carrying her swiftly through the back of the set until they had made it out into the hallway. Jun threw open the first door he saw and slammed it shut once they were both inside, leaning against it with all his weight. A deep sigh reverberated through his body. His daemon officially had the worst timing possible. He turned to slam his fists against the wall and kicked violently at the door, a ragged shout tearing from his throat. He hoped it would help to vent his frustrations so was disappointed to find it was of little relief. Whipping around, he glared at his daemon.

“Why did you have to settle now?” he yelled at her with much anger evident in his tone. “You couldn’t have done it sooner, could you? Of course not. It had to be now in front of everybody.”

Seriaya stared up at him, taken aback by his sudden outburst at her before her ears went back and her lip curled up to bare her teeth at him.

“You’re the one who chose this life of cameras in our faces all the time” she snarled back in retaliation. “It was your decision to hide this from everyone as well, so don’t turn around and try to blame it on me!”

Jun stared at his daemon, his body trembling slightly with rage. Her claws were extended and her muscles were tense as though ready to attack at any given moment. Then the tension lifted. Jun’s anger vanished as realization hit him harder than if he’d been physically struck. He strode forward and dropped to his knees to embrace Seriaya tenderly.

“I’m sorry” he whispered against her shoulder, feeling the way she nuzzled her head against his in a show of both repentance and acceptance of his apology.

“I don’t have any more control over when I settle than you do” she told him gently.

“I know,” replied Jun. He repeatedly whispered his apologetic words before slowly drawing back from the embrace, though he remained where he was on the floor close to her. Seriaya stared at him when he sighed again. “Nino was right. You really can’t choose what your daemon settles as.”

“Do you hate my settled form?”

Jun shook his head before she had even finished speaking. “Of course not. I could never hate you.”

They remained how they were in the empty room, allowing themselves the time for the last of their anger and any lingering adrenaline from the settling to subside. Just when they were considering leaving to return to the set they had so abruptly run off from, voices sounded from the other side of the door.

“What kind of daemon settles at eighteen anyway?”

Sho, Jun recognized the antagonistic voice of his fellow member. Seriaya’s tail twitched. Its movement quickly went from still to a moderate lash at the words of the other man.

“Lay off him already, would you?” snapped Nino, much to Jun’s surprise. He was sure the other three members would be equally shocked by his sudden defensive outburst. “You’re the reason his daemon settled now anyway.”

“How do you figure that?”

Nino scoffed. “That guy treats him like dirt in the middle of a recording and his daemon ends up settling in a form that’s protective, fierce and aggressive. Yeah, I’m sure there’s no connection whatsoever.” His sarcasm was thick and dry, even through the door.

Jun couldn’t help glancing down at his daemon to take in her new form in full for the first time. He hadn’t thought of it the way Nino had just described, but it made sense. Daemons were a reflection of their human. When they settled, they took a form which mirrored that person’s innermost nature. Right before Seriaya had settled, Jun had felt an intense desire for respect. He wanted to put an end to all of this contempt and mistreatment; to gain attention for a positive reason for once—to feel empowered, revered and capable.

“Like it or not, we’re all stuck with one another until further notice so learn to deal with it” Ohno spoke up, his tone sharper than usual and seemed to be directed at all of them rather than one particular member. Unlike Nino who was quite clear in who he was speaking to when his voice cut through a moment later to add, “Without being a total ass.”

Jun had heard enough. Standing, he opened the door and stepped out of the room to face the other members. Seriaya walked alongside him with powerful strides.

“Matsujun!” Aiba exclaimed the moment they were back in the hall. He hurried over with a grin, grabbing Jun by the wrists and shaking enthusiastically before he threw himself at the younger in a sort of awkward side hug. Lanae greeted Seriaya with a nose rub while Kai climbed up onto the panther’s back and coiled her tail around the other daemon’s neck.

Jun smiled at Aiba in return before peeling the other man off of him. His expression became impassive once more as he looked to the other members. They needed to go back, to finish the recording they’d left needing tremendous editing before going to air. But for Jun, returning was more than that. Running was not an option any longer. His secret was out; his daemon had settled now and, as Nino had so eloquently put it, as a fierce, defensive form. He needed to go back and face things how they were. If respect was what he desired, he would earn it himself by any means necessary. Seriaya had changed and so would Jun.


	6. D is for Daemon

Arashi’s popularity was slowly building. Concerts had gone from small venues with unsold seats at each location along the tour, to being held at larger stadiums where every one of their tickets were sold out soon after becoming available. Their number of fans seemed to be increasing more with every passing year. The broadcast time they were allocated was also improving. Already the group had been given the chance to host several shows of their own, albeit ones which aired late at night. CD sales were mostly steady and promotional opportunities were more plentiful than ever before.

Despite the air time of their late-night show and the limited number of people they were certain were actually watching them due to the late hour, the boys’ daemons were still required to remain uninvolved in their activities. The agency’s belief was that regardless of how few people were watching them, they were still idols. No matter what number of viewers—whether it be twenty, ten or even two—they needed to see the group as not being dependant on their daemons. The boys themselves were allowed to undertake just about anything they wanted to do or try on their show, within reason, so long as their daemons stayed out of it.

Arashi did not see things the way management did, with two members in particular noticeably going out of their way to do the opposite of what was expected of them. Nino saw the daemons as an opportune way to better his personal segment which the staff had already and somewhat reluctantly agreed to for their program. Aiba as well thought of nothing but inspiration from their late night show. His head was abundant with ideas, most of which included the daemons. He had hundreds of questions just waiting to be answered. Even when the other members tried to explain to him that they were supposed to keep their daemons from becoming a focus, Aiba brushed them off and told them all it was their chance to reconnect, to discover all they had ever wondered about the mystery of the bond between human and daemon. Needless to say, all of the staff members were concerned by level of chaos that was sure to entail.

\---

Lanae hated A no Arashi. Allowing Aiba to have free reign with his brainchild of a segment was by far the worst idea the staff had ever had, in her opinion. Not that her opinion mattered in the least. The segment itself was with little doubt the most well received of the entire program owing to the brilliant idiocy of her human’s ideas. Ratings had shown to improve since the introduction of his corner, leading to an increase in the amount of times the segment took place, and Lanae had to admit it seemed the viewers found the pointless experiments just as intriguing and fun as Aiba did. But then they weren’t the ones who suffered. As Aiba’s daemon, it was Lanae who felt the harsh splatter of liquid nitrogen when he added too much of something too fast, or had the taste of spice, salt or other overbearing and unpleasant sensations tingling on her tongue for hours when she hadn’t eaten a thing. She was the one who felt the stickiness of cream speckling her face when Aiba got hit by those pies, who dealt with the light-headedness from the lack of oxygen from countless experiments he came up with that left them both gasping for air, and the pain which occurred when they were separated from each other courtesy of her human’s bizarre, unfathomable obsession with being able to fly. The humiliation that came when many of his crazy experiments failed miserably were just as horrific to have to deal with and without Aiba’s enthusiasm to level those disastrous consequences, the segment was just plain traumatic. Lanae knew the other members of Arashi and their daemons sometimes shared her negative views about the corner whenever they were forced to endure similar hardships, but for the most part they took it in good spirits. For Lanae though, A no Arashi spelt disaster.

She had a bad feeling about today. The fact that Sho, who had been paired with Aiba for today, was looking a little hesitant as well did nothing to reassure Lanae that she was not alone in feeling this way. She was well aware of how easily the other members could get into the experiments proposed by her human. They were outside this time and an unsettling emotion had already formed in the pit of the daemon’s stomach. Aiba, on the other hand, was brimming with excitement—something which only made his daemon feel worse about the uncertainty of what could happen. It wouldn’t matter whether she had a bad feeling or not though, the corner would still be taking place.

With a wide smile, Aiba raised the sketch depicting his newest idea for all of them to see. The illustration was of a person running in a circle around some sort of pole.

“If you spin around a bat ten times one way and then do the same the other way, what will happen?” Aiba announced his question. Lanae tensed, looking from her human to Sho who was staring at the board with intrigue.   
“In other words, would you be able to walk normally?” Sho elucified. Aiba pointed at him with an enthusiastic nod of his head.

“That’s right! This is my prediction…” He hastily flicked the pages, cheerily stating he had a good feeling about today. Once he had revealed the right page, consisting of what appeared to be a creature by some definition looking like it was about to run right off the page, he turned to their daemons. “Your daemon will be able to walk straight.”

Makami suddenly took flight as if Aiba’s unexpected statement had jolted her awake from some sort of daze which she had been in.

“We’re including the daemons?” startled Sho, sounding almost as stunned as his daemon looked. Aiba nodded again and with a breathy laugh exclaimed, “Well, it wouldn’t be as interesting if we did it all ourselves now, would it?”

Lanae felt her heart sink. She knew she’d had a bad feeling for a reason. While Aiba and Sho discussed the stage of their experiment, Makami flew up to perch herself on the wallaby’s head, right between her ears.

“Your human sure does come up with some interesting ideas” she remarked with a playful tone. “But who knows, it could be fun.”

Lanae glared up at her, or at least tried to. She wanted to grumble some retort at the other daemon but her human was already getting into position to begin the experiment. By the time Aiba was on his second lap of ten around the bat, Lanae could already feel the beginnings of a headache. The world around her started to spin, growing worse with every additional lap Aiba completed. He finally reached the tenth, standing up straight so fast it resulted in a further bout of dizziness. Lanae could hear Sho and Makami telling her to go and hesitantly glanced around in her swaying vision to find the marked flag she was supposed to go as far as. Spotting it just ahead of her, she staggered forward. Each of her hops were wobbly, her legs feeling as though they would give out. Her balance was essentially non-existent. With every unsteady bounce that brought her closer, Lanae could feel her weight being thrown off and before long had collapsed onto her side, scrambling to get back up and make it to the mark with a strange limp in her step.

The staff, Sho and every daemon were all laughing. Even Aiba could not contain his amusement while watching his daemon, already insisting they start the real experiment. He was back on the bat and starting to twirl around again before Lanae could do anything to stop him. Twice in a row was certainly tough. Both Aiba and his daemon were fighting for breath even in the early laps of the first direction, and a feeling of nausea threatened to make them both sick. Aiba eventually finished all twenty rounds and Lanae jumped forward immediately in the hope that this would all be over soon. Her movements were rigid, hopping at a much slower and stiffer speed than usual. She was determined not to fall over again. Succeeding in not facing the same humiliation again, she made her way back over to her human. Makami was chirping in delight while Aiba explained the sensation to his fellow member.

“I was right,” the sparrow daemon twittered. “That was fun.”

Lanae did not want to hear her comments on the embarrassment she’d just been put through but the next remark of the other daemon’s human certainly did make her smile. Makami, on the other hand, was quite outraged when Sho turned around and proclaimed he wanted to try it as well.

\---

Ni no Arashi was something both Nino and his daemon took pride in. The formation of each idea undertaken was a combined effort from the two of them; thought up by one and elaborated on by the other. This arrangement was what led to flawlessly executed pranks, and what made the other members continuously wary about when the next one would strike.

It had been Keitan who suggested during their meaningless special that they do something to make the episode more fitting to the title ‘ _special_ ’. Nino had of course been more than willing to follow through with his daemon’s suggestion by imposing another prank of his own creation. The pranks they’d initiated so far had all been successful at attaining excellent reactions from almost all the members, but Ohno was a difficult case. Nino knew their leader well and was aware that if he intended to get a true response from an unexpected situation, he would need to take it that one step further. Keitan had cautioned him about the potential repercussions of his human’s hard-hitting idea for the prank, but went along with him regardless.

Getting Ohno to play the part required of him whilst remaining oblivious of the prank was fairly simple in itself. Throughout the episode’s filming, the two of them were hard at work building the basis for their intended trickery, subtly manipulating the ignorant Ohno and his daemon into doing exactly what Nino and Keitan wanted of them when the time was right. It only took a couple of annoying gestures at any given opportunity—some playful albeit irksome shoves, a tug or two of Kai’s tail, camera flashes close to Ohno’s face—before Arashi’s leader finally snapped. When Nino came close yet again, he swiftly reached up to pull him down. Kai leapt onto Keitan, tackling him to the ground as her human dealt with Nino. Ohno threw the other guy down onto the futons and waited until Nino tried to drag himself back up, a smirk still present on his face. Ohno then grabbed him by the back of the neck and held him back down against the ground, playfully wrestling with his bandmate. Kai had her arms wrapped around Keitan, forcing him into the futons in a similar manner to what her human was doing while she casually beat the other daemon’s side with her feet. The fox struggled slightly in her grasp but otherwise seemed mostly unaffected by being pinned down.

Ohno asked if Nino had given up, much to the amusement of the other members who had been watching their tussle the entire time. The older man moved away and allowed Nino to get back up. Kai too stepped off of Keitan, but the little fox remained where he lay on the floor. A soft wheezing sounded from the daemon as though he were struggling to breathe. Nino had only just pulled himself up when he suddenly lurched forward again with a deep, rasping cough. Scarlet spilled from the hand he’d raised to cover his mouth, staining the futon with a distinct splatter.

Silence fell between the members and their daemons. The other four stared at the bloodstain in shock while the colour quickly faded from Ohno’s face. Nino shook the remaining blood from his hand and wearily glanced over at where his daemon lay quivering beside him, placing a hand on the fox’s side. He let it rest there for a moment before moving it over the daemon’s muzzle. A small piece of paper was pulled from between his teeth, which Nino then attached to his fingers. Sho’s laughter broke the silence upon seeing this. Keitan lifted his head and heaved himself up into a sitting position like nothing had happened. A smirk found its way on his lips even as he stared at the still dazed Kai. Nino rose to his feet to reveal the prank to the nearest camera, then proceeded to frolic about the room with his daemon in celebration of their success. Meanwhile Ohno clutched at his chest, allowing his rapidly beating heart to slow as Kai came to slump against his side, equally as traumatized. Neither of them could quite get over what had just happened. They really had thought their lives were over in that moment.

\---

“What if we pulled a prank with the help of one of the other members?”

When the staff had revealed the next guest on D no Arashi to be Degawa Tetsuro, Nino and Keitan had jumped at the chance to prank both him and the other members all at once. It was an opportunity to good to pass up. The last half an hour had been dedicated to devising new ideas for the kind of Ni no Arashi they would pull for this upcoming occasion. So far they had narrowed down their ideas to some form of fright or intimidation, but had otherwise been unsuccessful in coming up with anything good.

Nino thought hard about his daemon’s most recent proposition. It was an intriguing idea for sure, one which flipped the original intent of the corner by enlisting the assistance of the members rather than having them as targets. Recently the pranks, whilst fun and still very much able to gain a response from the others, were becoming more and more predictable for the rest of Arashi. At least that’s how Nino saw it as being, so he was keen to give his daemon’s idea a try and see how things played out.

“Who’d you have in mind to assist us?” asked Nino curiously.

“We could have all of them know about it,” Keitan suggested. “But in terms of being the one to actually help, I think the choice is obvious.”

Nino rolled his eyes at his daemon. “You just want to be near Seriaya.”

“If you can think of any other member or daemon more suited to intimidating” Keitan retorted, smirking when Nino forcefully kept his mouth shut in indication of having no immediate comeback. The daemon’s expression quickly turned into more of a pout when a thought crossed his mind. “Though convincing them to work alongside us may pose a bit of an issue. They’ll probably think we’re trying to double-cross them.”

This time it was Nino who smirked, his eyes glistening with confidence. “Don’t worry. Convincing them will be easy.”

As it turned out, convincing Jun and Seriaya _was_ easy. Granted Keitan had very nearly gotten his muzzle clawed when he first proposed the idea, though admittedly slinking closer to the other daemon whilst telling her may have had more to do with this than the idea itself. While Keitan scurried away from the indignant panther daemon who had needed Jun to place a hand on her head to pacify her, Nino explained the plan. Hearing about the reverse prank, Jun had seemed quite intrigued from the beginning, even if his daemon was a bit more wary of the whole thing. It had only taken a few carefully chosen words about the opportunity of scaring a comedian like Degawa not being a regular occurrence for Jun to agree to be involved.

The prank itself had turned out to be a better success than any of the members had been expecting. Initially when the details of the reverse prank had been explained to him, Jun had worried about how best to initiate Nino’s scheme of getting angry, listening and watching closely to Degawa’s meagre acting, all the while hoping a decent opportunity to step in would reveal itself. As luck would have it, one had indeed arose and from there things progressed smoothly.

Things played out exactly as Nino had planned and he had to admit Jun and Seriaya’s acting was far better than he’d expected it to be—much more convincing than Degawa’s was. Watching it, the whole thing seemed entirely real and was honestly quite frightening. The two of them re-entered the room after having followed Degawa out, looking even more daunting now than they had moments ago.

“What do you want?” Jun demanded, anger evident in his tone. “If you want me to get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness, I’ll do it.”

Seriaya prowled forward in stride with her human; her reactions were perfectly matched to his. When Jun ripped his glasses off, she bared her teeth in a snarl. As he stepped closer, she loomed over the comedian’s daemon.

“Then what do you want us to do?”

It was this cue that signalled for the other members and the few select staff who knew of the prank to step forward. Two staff members grabbed Jun to restrain him, their daemons crowding Seriaya to hold her back as best they could. Nino hurried forward to get between him and the increasingly worried looking Degawa. Jun fought hard against those holding him, demanding to be let go while his daemon growled and snarled for release. Those restraining them could barely catch the two of them in time as Jun lunged forward with one final furious yell that had Degawa noticeably step back in fear. Seriaya reared up on her hind legs to give a bloodcurdling yowl before both she and her human were forcibly dragged away. Nino caught Jun when he made yet another attempt to get at the comedian right before being shoved roughly out into the hallway. The other three members of Arashi and their daemons were close behind them.

Almost as soon as they had made it out into the hall and far enough from Degawa’s hearing range, Jun burst out laughing as he leant against the wall. Seriaya sat beside him, licking the drops of saliva from her jaws. She had never snarled quite so dramatically before. Her image now hard completely changed with the completion of their role in the prank. Gone was the terrifying savage of a daemon, replaced by what looked more like a large but relatively harmless cat.

“Remind me not to get you angry” Kai said in jest while the other daemons crowded around to offer their own praises regarding the success of the prank.

“You nailed him too hard” one of the staff whispered to Jun, though his laughter was barely contained. All the Arashi members were smiling widely from the performance they’d just witnessed. The thought of what Degawa’s reaction to come would be was only making them giddy.

\---

Today so far, if Kai were to sum it up in one word: interesting. Their day-long vacation trip had been set at a ten-year abandoned waterpark, a location which had turned out to be both disturbing and entertaining. From the moment they arrived at the rendezvous point, all the daemons knew perhaps even before the members of Arashi did that something was up. Aside from Keitan who had been in on joke curtesy of his human being the one the staff entrusted to plan the day, the daemons had been able to sense that things today would be far from their expectations. The decaying food items that had served as snacks on the trip to the park were certainly disgusting and a worrying clue to where they were headed.

Kai had to admit there were aspects of the day which had turned out to be more fun than she had anticipated, but for the most part she was just as confused and put off by their location as the rest of them. The other members and their daemons were all shocked as they watched Nino toss the entrance barrier away while his daemon pounced on the remaining cone and gnawed at it vigorously before flinging it aside in much the same manner as his human had done. Walking through the dirty leisure park caused an uproar of concerned questions from just about everyone. There was glass all over the ground; Kai quickly scurried up Ohno’s back and clung to his arm while Makami flew above them all to stay as far away from the damage as possible. Keitan lay across Nino’s shoulders, having coiled himself around the man’s neck like a scarf. Even he did not wish to walk through this mess of broken shards. They couldn’t help feeling a little bad for Seriaya and Lanae who were forced to walk on their own, the two daemons carefully stepping across the fragment covered ground in pursuit of their humans.

When they reached the wave pool and the truth about their location was finally confirmed, Nino helpfully decided the other members ought to make the best out of their situation and play for a while. The daemons looked on as their humans attempted a game with the inflatable ball Nino had provided them with before Keitan approached the four of them with a length of rope gripped between his teeth. Seriaya took hold of the other end, with Lanae behind her and Kai on the other side with Keitan. Makami rested on the middle of the rope once it had been pulled tight and gave a loud chirp to signal the start of the tug-o-war. The game was over fairly quickly however as with one forceful pull, Seriaya had yanked the rope. Keitan released it and jumped aside in time, leaving Kai on her own to tumble forward with a startled cry. Before any of them had the chance to react to the abrupt end to the game however, Keitan was back over by Nino’s side as the man called to the others to move on to the next attraction: the waterslide. Thanks to an earlier remark about wanting to go on the waterslide, Aiba was not so much given a choice to ride than he was forcibly made to be the one to try out the dangerous ‘forest’ slide. Soon after he was sent off against his will by his bandmates, Lanae, who had leapt up onto the top step in her concern for him, suddenly slipped forward onto the slide as well when Seriaya gave her a strong nudge from behind. Her yelp echoed even as she disappeared from sight. As her human continuously called out for more water each and every time he got stuck, his daemon would shout out that it was cold or that she hated it. Aiba eventually made it to the very end of the slide, with Lanae tumbling down after him mere moments later.

Entering the restaurant, everyone knew already that things were going to be bad. They knew from the last time they were taken to an abandoned location how nasty the food left behind was. Lanae’s stomach was already feeling unsettled from the waterslide, so it came as no surprise when Aiba declared early on in the search for the missing menu ingredients that he felt like puking. Makami landed on top of the beer tap; she called out to Sho to let him know she’d found it. Aiba pulled the handle, the built-up pressure of the contents causing a sudden and powerful explosion of beer from the end of it that spattered fiercely out of the mug placed below. Sho and Aiba leapt back dramatically, their arms sprayed with aged alcohol while Makami fluttered her wings from the splash which had soaked her. She didn’t even want to watch as Sho then proceeded to open up the rancid butter which they’d found. Seriaya was certain to keep as far away from all the food their humans had come across as possible, having no desire to relive the nauseous feeling suffered during their visit to the previous abandoned restaurant. Needless to say, when all the menu items were complete, Kai was very grateful that even Ohno did not try any of them.

The members of Arashi were soon split up and led to different rooms of the abandoned hotel where they were supposed to write their impressions of today’s on-location shoot. When Ohno entered the ruined room, he paused at the entrance.

“Why’d we have to come in here?” he grumbled despite walking further into the room.

Kai climbed up onto his shoulder. His daemon’s sudden movement made him flinch before he came to the realization that it was just her. She glanced around at the terrible condition of the suite they were in. The ceiling looked like it was falling in while the rotting curtains hung eerily around the room. The beds were stripped, covered in dirt and a thin layer of dust as well as having emptied pill bottles scattered upon the ruined mattresses.

“This place is creepy” she whispered in his ear. “Hurry up so we can get out of here.”

Ohno nodded briskly as he took a seat at the table to write the impressions. The sooner they left this place, the better.

“I can’t write in here…they’re picking on me.” His mumbled words were heavy with anxiety. As he slowly took out the paper a staff member had given him earlier, glancing worriedly around the room as he did, Kai spotted the old envelope of a will resting on the other end of the table. A chill ran down her spine seeing it. She momentarily wondered whether to inform her human or not, before deciding against it and shifting to his other shoulder where she could remain further away from it.

When Ohno stood up, Kai hoped he was done and that they could leave, so was thoroughly disappointed when he spun back around soon after reaching the doorway. He started to pace about the room, unable to relax. The creaking of the floorboards beneath them was doing nothing to ease their tension. Instead of trying to find a way out of the room, Ohno walked around and prodded at the various things in the room, much to his daemon’s horror. He picked up a shoe that had been left on the ground and poked around at the pill bottles before eventually going back to his impressions sheet to continue writing. Soon after sitting down again, Kai swore she saw him look at the will. She held her breath as he went back to writing, starting to relax only to find him soon turning back, leaning in to stare at the envelope. He had definitely noticed it.

“A will…”

“No,” she whispered when he reached out to take it. “Satoshi, don’t.” He ignored his daemon’s warnings and bravely opened the envelope. He unfolded the contents to read what was written.

Moments after he began to read it, Kai felt a coldness sweep over her entire body. There was a tingling under her fur as though something were crawling beneath her very skin. Ohno’s gaze was flickering around the room, his eyes widened slightly in panic. He hastily put the letter back into the envelope and tossed it back to where he found it. The second it was out of his hand, his daemon scrambled over his shoulder and held herself to his chest. His hand came up immediately to support her.

“Can we please get out of here now?” she asked in a pleading tone. Ohno nodded again and rose to his feet. They went to the doorway but backtracked into the room once more when the door would not open. As they were fumbling around, both he and his daemon almost missed as the door suddenly came free and swung open with a creak. When they turned what looked to resemble Sadako entered with slow steps. Kai tilted her head in confusion at the sudden appearance while Ohno stared through the hair covering the person’s face at the familiarity hidden beneath.

“Hama-chan?”

His words were like a trigger which ended the frightening intensity of all he and Kai had been experiencing up until that point as the realization that the others were indeed picking on him and that this was nothing more than a simple prank intended to scare him finally sunk in.


	7. On Broken Wings

Sho was alone with his daemon in Arashi’s green room. They were the first ones to arrive that morning; not an unusual occurrence but sometimes a little lonesome, Sho found himself pacing the longer he waited for their arrival. He’d grown so used to the other members’ presence over the years that when he did suddenly find himself alone in a situation where he knew all five of them should have been together, it often surprised him by just how lonely he could get.

Passing the mirror on his way to rummage through his belongings to try and find something to entertain his restless mind, he retraced his steps when the glimmer of his earring caught the corner of his eye. He stared at his reflection for a moment. Since starting his newscaster job with News Zero, it had felt as if his entire being had changed. Gone was his teenage temperament and attitude, fading day by day with the development of civility. The refinement of his character was becoming more obvious with every passing week, to both the public eye and his other members. Makami too was undergoing a change in her general disposition. She had been mellowing out somewhat as his own personality levelled itself in recent days.

Honestly, Sho was glad for this change in himself and his daemon. The more he matured, the more he came to realize the impact his previous rebelliousness had on the lives of those around him. His family had been troubled enough by his decision to continue with Johnny’s, his rash actions owing to his attitude only driving the rift between them further. Incidents where his hot-headed temper came to light among fans and even staff members were having a rather significant impact on his reputation as well. The other members of Arashi, Sho was sure, must have had quite a difficult time being around him during those times. He was already aware of how badly he must have hurt them all on one occasion or another, and he was sorry.

Still gazing into his own reflection in the mirror, he almost failed to notice when Makami flew up beside him from where she had been resting on the arm of the couch.

“Are you going to take it out?” she asked him as she hovered in the air, noting the way he was staring at his earring. The sparkling jewel pinned through his earlobe was somewhat of a symbol to Makami—a symbol she detested of a period she very much wished to forget. It was a wonder Sho hadn’t dyed her feathers during that era full of spite and arrogance, though the daemon had a fearful hunch he may have considered it once or twice.

Sho gave a soft but thoughtful hum. He took his earring out during his work as a caster and seemed to be wearing it less and less these days. The thought of removing it permanently had crossed his mind more than once, but Sho was slightly reluctant. It did not feel like the right time to leave his past behind him just yet. At least not entirely.

With this in mind, he shook his head in response to his daemon’s question. “Not yet.”

Makami said nothing as she came to perch on his shoulder. It was Sho’s decision after all, and she would be sure to remind him at a later date anyway when he held more confidence about the man he was becoming. A few short minutes later the door to the green room opened and another member entered. Seriaya’s large black head pushed the door open as she padded into the room with Jun right behind her. The two paced across the room, their strides in unison and giving off a general air of composure.

“Good morning” Sho called to his fellow member as he neared. Jun, however, did not even acknowledge the greeted and walked straight past without some much as a glance in Sho’s direction. Sho was taken aback by the coldness the younger showed him.

Makami’s wings fluttered and she lifted into the air again, flying over to give Seriaya a similarly friendly reception. But when the panther daemon whipped around with a deep growl rising in the back of her throat and bared her teeth in warning at the little bird, Makami was quick to withdraw from her attempt. Seriaya watched her fly back to Sho for but a moment before turning away and following Jun the rest of the way across the room. The whole time, Jun had not even glanced back at either of them.

Sho was left feeling quite stunned by the unexpected episode. The younger’s cold hostility in response to him and even his daemon was far from what he had anticipated from Jun. It wasn’t long before the other members arrived, one at a time. Sho watched Jun’s reaction to each of them closely. He looked up from where he sat at the far end of the room and gave a curt wave when Aiba entered, giving nothing but short, straightforward replies when spoken to directly by the cheerful man. Seriaya accepted Lanae’s head-butt of a greeting but was otherwise unchanged by their arrival. The both of them barely even looked up when Nino entered. Jun did however lift his hand in a slight gesture of some sort. Sho caught Nino staring at Jun for a brief moment, Keitan looking to Seriaya in a similar manner, before the two strolled away to involve themselves with other things. By the time Ohno finally arrived, it was almost time for them to go through make-up and wardrobe before heading out for their scheduled filming. Jun muttered soft words to their leader as he passed him on his way to the door, leaving the four of them alone with their daemons in the green room. Sho wasn’t sure what to make of what he’d just seen. To some degree he was pleased to learn it wasn’t just him who Jun was being cold to, though he certainly didn’t seem to be as cold towards the other members. On the other hand, Sho was not sure he liked that their youngest was quite clearly distancing himself from the rest of them. It was unsettling, confusing and concerning all at once, and it was in this moment Sho realized Jun had well and truly changed.

\---

Keitan wasn’t really sure what his human was trying to achieve. For the last three or so years, Nino had been blatantly getting closer to Sho. Fan service between them, on-screen and off-screen, had never been more extravagant. During filming, between recordings, in the green room, arriving at and departing from venues, amidst concerts, behind the scenes—the two of them could always be found together. By default this also meant their daemons were required to be in the same close proximity of each other. Keitan had nothing against Makami but being incessantly close to her all the time was starting to get on his nerves. He was just about ready to snap at the small bird, or Nino—whichever of them pushed him over the edge first.

There was about two and a half hours left before the concert would commence. The members of Arashi were all in their green room, each of them warming up in preparation for the performance in their own individual ways. Their daemons too were readying themselves for the painful and exhausting separation that was to come. With every concert they did, every larger venue they performed at, the strain put on them grew as the distance between idol and daemon extended even further. Nino was currently sitting on the tattered couch with his DS in hand. Keitan lay between his arched legs while his human leant up against Sho’s side, who sat dozing next to him in preservation of his strength for later that night. When Nino put his game aside and rose to his feet, heading in the direction of the door with a muttered declaration of going to the bathroom, Keitan saw it as his chance to finally confront his human about this not-so recent but still highly concerning obsession with Sho. He jumped off the couch and trotted after the young man, remaining silent by his side until they were both outside in the deserted hallway where no one would hear their conversation.

“What exactly are you trying to achieve here?” Keitan questioned the moment he was sure the door had shut behind them and the chances of anyone overhearing them were none.

Nino glanced at his daemon. “What?”

“Sho. Why are you so close with him?” Keitan pouted when he received no useful response.

“It’s just fan service, Keitan” Nino brushed him off and started walking a little faster. His daemon quickened his pace to keep stride with him.

“It’s about Jun, isn’t it?”

Nino stopped abruptly and gave a short sigh, turning back to look at the fox. “It has nothing to do with him. I told you, it’s _just_ fan service.”

Keitan stared up at him, his gaze unrelenting as he seemed to look straight through the man staring back at him. To others, Nino was a brilliant actor, a superb liar and a known trickster, but to his daemon he was none of those. He was easy to read and actually rather predictable in Keitan’s opinion, but having that view of Arashi’s brat surely stemmed from their hearts beating as one. It was next to impossible to lie to one’s daemon and if Nino had forgotten or wished to forget this little detail, it was up to Keitan to remind him of reality.

“You do realize that anything you feel, I feel as well” he remarked dryly, watching Nino wince ever so slightly at his words. Keitan didn’t necessary blame him; he was well aware of the pain they had both been put through over the past years on account of these feelings. Neither were sure when exactly they’d first arose, or had changed from innocuous and platonic friendship into something far more dangerous. All they knew for certain was they were honest emotions that could not be eradicated no matter how hard they tried. The most they could do was attempt to suppress them.

“At least tell me what you’re trying to do” the daemon pressed and waited to see if Nino would answer. Conflict flashed in his eyes and his mouth parted slightly as though trying to find the words. “Make him jealous?” Nino shook his head.

“Find a new interest?”

“No.”

“Distract yourself?”

“Keitan…”

“Then what?” Keitan was getting quite exasperated.

“I don’t want him to see him hurt!”

Nino stared at the fox hard. He was trembling slightly from the loud outburst and Keitan took a small step towards him. The emotion was clear in his gaze, an agony burning in their brown depths that made his daemon lost for words at the rawness of it all. Nino was easy to read for him but never in this way. He gave a long sigh.

“Sho hurt him once” Nino’s voice was now scarcely more than a shy whisper, as if all power had been lost in that one desperate shout. “If I stay close, maybe he’ll lash out at me instead when things get too much. If I stay close…maybe Jun won’t have to be to one who gets hurt again.”

\---

It had been decided by management that now that they had an earlier time slot for the airing of their new show, Arashi no Shukudai-kun and enough fans for a live audience to be present for the filming, the member’s daemons were no longer allowed to freely interact and participate during the program as they had done in the past. Accepting such a condition after four years of their daemons having freedom even whilst on-screen had been difficult for the members of Arashi. None of them wished to see their daemons repressed and shunned, pushed aside to be little more than moving props, but the decision was not theirs to make. They were slowly but surely building their fan base and making names for themselves in the world of entertainment. Obtaining a regular golden time program was almost within their reach but to get there, to become true icons of Johnny’s Entertainment, they all knew their daemons would have to be sacrificed.

Unlike in concerts where they were required to remain out of sight entirely, the daemons were still allowed to be present on set for the broadcast. Most of the time this meant hanging off to the side or remaining at the foot of the stage where the film staff were, still close and in the view of the audience but far away enough to keep out of the way and maintain the idols’ self-reliant reputation. On rare occasions, mostly typically during the talk segments or the odd food report, their daemons would be permitted to be by their human’s side. The members of Arashi had often wondered why this was the case—why their daemons were allowed to remain in view during shows but were required to hide away entirely for concerts. Whenever any of them asked or were asked themselves as part of an interview, the answer given was always the same: a demonstration of inter-daemon relations, allowing the fans a glimpse into the deepest psychological ties between the members.

Unfortunately this portrayal did not always come across as cleanly and accurately as one would hope. The members held a good relation with one another; this much could not be argued, but their daemons were not a complete replication of these amicable feelings. A part of each member they might be but they were still individuals. Seriaya and Keitan were by far the most obvious examples in terms of revealing the differing levels of relationship between them and their humans. Majority of the time they were able to behave themselves, having gotten far better at tolerating one another over the years they’d been forced together as the daemons of Arashi members, but there were instances when the façade of their truce died away and their true nature was exposed. It would most commonly show itself in the form of a growl or cuff over the ears, the physical repercussions of the latter being far more difficult to hide among Jun and Nino when it occurred, especially when initiated by Seriaya. When such incidents happened, it was rare for them to go unnoticed by the fans. The distance placed between the two members in order to limit their daemons’ chances of showing hostility towards one another was another factor that fans rarely missed.

When the filming of their most recent shukudai-kun episode ended, Jun was quick to drag his daemon backstage and away from the prying eyes of the audience.

“Did you have to strike him in the middle of filming?” he demanded, glaring down at her.

Recalling an old interview question he had answered many years ago and being dubbed numerous embarrassing nicknames by the other members before his even more humiliating legitimate answer was revealed had been bad enough. The last thing Jun needed was from the corner of his eye to see the signs of their daemons about to start something once again following Nino’s typically smart-mouthed reply regarding the names. Keitan had slunk across the floor to sit beside Seriaya, whispering something to her from the look of it. Jun very nearly groaned when he saw his daemon reach over and give the small fox a quite firm looking swipe across the ears with one of her large paws. Nino had jerked slightly in reaction to the unexpected blow delivered to his daemon and not a moment later Jun was biting down on his lip, inhaling sharply from the nip on the ear Keitan had given in retaliation. While only a few may have seen their daemons interaction, the audience, other members and guest had all witnessed the strange behaviour of the two youngest and drew their own conclusions from the moderate glares they seemed to be exchanging for the remainder of the show when the others were talking.

Seriaya refused to look at her human though she muttered, “He started it.”

“I don’t care, it has to stop” Jun scolded her. “Fans already think Nino and I don’t get along. You two need to settle this before it gets even worse.”

Seriaya lifted her head to momentarily meet his gaze, equally intense eyes glaring into each other before the panther daemon turned her head sharply. They had been listening to the conversation of their humans when Keitan had crept over to her and hissed his own nickname of “Seri” into her ear. She’d growled softly at him to try and shoo him away before he whispered the name a second time, this time with the addition of the same ‘pon’ suffix his human had used on Jun. After that, ignoring the fox daemon had no longer been an option for her. Settling things with Keitan, if she were to have it her way, would be through substantially feral means—something which in her mind looked an awful lot like strangling the little canine between her teeth—but she knew Jun would not approve of this method in the slightest. Instead she would be forced to be civil to the demonic daemon, much to her displeasure.

Giving a slight growl, she bowed her head in reluctant submission of her human’s request.


	8. Where We Belong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is enjoying this. Comments are appreciated.

Two months. That was how long Nino was expected to stay in Hollywood to film Letters from Iwo Jima. His mind felt as though it were being torn apart by the immense confliction occurring within him. Everything seemed frightening. Somewhere in the back of his thoughts, logic was telling him there was no reason for this to be the case, but Nino couldn’t think straight. Every minute he was immersed in the daunting foreignness of it all, the more his sense of reason was lost to the fear consuming him. He missed Japan. He missed the other members and Arashi. He yearned for the familiar comfort of the things he knew and loved. He feared nothing would be the same when he returned. His head was in a constant state of worry that these endless cravings and the escalating anxiety he suffered because of them would come across while filming scenes. In a sense they did but not in the damaging way he thought it might. Instead many ended up praising him for his performance, with the director Clint Eastwood personally commending him for his convincing portrayal of a young man’s tormented desire to return home.

Whilst glad that his acting ability was only helped by the homesickness he felt, it did little to hasten the months of filming. Nino spent almost every night alone with his daemon in his hotel room. Only in these solitary moments, where there were no cameras or other people to judge him, could he reveal what lonely anguish he truly felt. Curled on the bed, he would hold Keitan as close to him as he possibly could and silently wish for the night to pass by faster.

His daemon was thoroughly confused. When Nino had received the role for the Hollywood film, Keitan thought his human would be far more excited. Since they were young it had been Nino’s aspiration to go to America to study directing, and now they finally had the chance to pursue that dream which had been put on hold due to the unforeseen circumstances that had led to his unintentional debut. This opportunity was one to make a name for himself, not as a member of the increasingly popular Arashi group, but as Ninomiya Kazunari. He was working under the direction of the acclaimed Clint Eastwood in the movie capital of the world; Nino should have been beyond ecstatic. It was why Keitan could not understand why the man seemed so down instead. From when they’d been packing to waiting at the airport and even after they’d arrived in Hollywood, Nino had not been at all like himself. Whilst filming he appeared nothing short of professional, though Keitan could still sense something was amiss. But the second the cameras were off, like a switch somewhere within him being flicked, his personality changed. He was acting shy around everyone and was quieter than usual even when it was just the two of them. His uncanny behaviour was really becoming a concern.

Nino gave a soft sigh as he stared down at the phone in his hand. He flicked through the various messages, his other hand moving in slow strokes over Keitan’s fur. He felt the way his daemon tensed and when he sighed again, the fox stood up and jumped from his lap to the bed.

“That’s it” he growled, spinning back around to face his human. “What is wrong with you?”

Nino lifted his gaze from his phone and turned the screen towards his daemon. Keitan glanced at the collection of mails received within the first week of having arrived in Hollywood.

 

_4:07pm, Thursday_

_From: Matsujun_

_To: Nino_

_Wishing you luck in Hollywood. Will be waiting for your return._

_\--_

_10:52am, Thursday_

_From: Sho-kun_

_To: Nino-kun_

_Glad you arrived safely. We will do what we can to keep you updated on our end._

_\--_

_1:01pm, Friday_

_From: Aibashi_

_To: Ninomi_

_Have lots of fun in America! And don’t forget out souvenirs._

_\--_

_1:03pm, Friday_

_From: Aibashi_

_To: Ninomi_

_Seriously. DO NOT forget._

_\--_

_8:29am, Saturday_

_From: Oh-chan_

_To: Nino_

_We’re all rooting for you. Can’t wait for the premiere._

_\--_

_12:14pm, Saturday_

_From: Aibashi_

_To: Ninomi_

_Use the money leader gave you since I know you’ll use not wasting money as an excuse not to buy us anything._

_\--_

_12:20am, Saturday_

_From: Oh-chan_

_To: Nino_

_Aiba-kun told me to ask why you haven’t responded about the souvenirs yet._

_\--_

_10:16am, Monday_

_From: Aibashi_

_To: Ninomi_

_Miss us yet?_

_\--_

_2:43pm, Wednesday_

_From: Sho-kun_

_To: Nino-kun_

_It isn’t the same without you._

_\--_

_5:08pm, Wednesday_

_From: Aibashi_

_To: Ninomi_

_Sho-chan’s right…it’s better. Just kidding! Come back soon. We miss you heaps._

 

The messages had been keeping Nino company for the length of time he had already been in America, but one thing bothered him. Jun was the only member to have not remained in contact with him while he was overseas. His was also the only message Nino received before leaving Japan and had it remained in his thoughts for most of the flight, alongside the memories of the yakiniku he’d shared with the other members as a send-off, but why the youngest had not contacted him again since left him feeling lost. All of the members were busy yet they made time to send him at least a short message; all the members except Jun that is. Keitan noticed this unusual trend in the messaging as well and could not help wondering if Seriaya had influenced Jun into not sending anything further.

Keitan looked from Nino to the messages displayed on the phone and back again. “This is why you’re acting so weird?”

“Don’t you miss them?” Nino questioned, watching with slightly narrowed eyes as his daemon shrugged in response.

“I guess so. But this is what you’ve always wanted, isn’t it?”

Nino knew not how to reply. What Keitan said was true and he couldn’t blame his daemon for being confused. Where they were now was exactly what he’d thought he wanted for years, but somehow he couldn’t get Arashi out of his head. Aiba’s message asking if he missed them yet was far more hard-hitting than Nino cared to admit, mostly because he had been missing them long before his friend had sent the message.

These feelings baffled him. Debuting had been far down his list of desired outcomes for his life yet somehow now that he was away from that life after several years of knowing nothing but, he missed it. Arashi had become more popular in recent years and things for them were really beginning to pick up speed, so much so that they’d been forced to record multiple episodes of their regular shows together in advance before Nino left for Hollywood. An empty feeling dwelled inside of him, seeming to grow the longer he was apart from them, and it hurt. It hurt knowing he was away from the others, that he had left them on their own to try and continue as four when he should be there with them.

“I don’t think it is anymore” Nino mumbled, more to himself than his daemon. It was an honest answer. At least he was starting to believe it was.

When they returned home after the two months of filming were over, this belief was confirmed. Keitan’s startled yelp as he was tackled by the other daemons was the last thing Nino heard before he nearly suffocated from the crushing hug that the other four members greeted him with. It was a painful, awkward and bruising embrace, but one which held nothing but affection given to their fifth member upon his return. All the homesickness he’d been feeling vanished in that instant and Nino knew for certain that regardless of the bragging he would be doing later on about his Hollywood fame, Arashi was where he wanted to be, and he had no intention of leaving it again.

\---

The tabloids were going crazy with unsubstantiated rumours backed only by sketchy photographs and articles blown way out of proportion, written with the deliberate intent to drag an idol’s credibility through the dirt. Management had their hands full covering for him and the so-called mess he’d made with those photos. The agency was doing all they could to minimize the impact this scandal would have on them and the group. Ohno knew he ought not to panic but it was an undeniably stressful time. Denying the worst of the claims—the marijuana usage—was an immediate and crucial response to lessen the crisis he shouldered. A public apology for the calamity caused and to calm the outrage would also need to be made.

Kai had cautioned him about being with those two girls. She warned him something was amiss with their daemons and that he should reconsider, but Ohno hadn’t heeded her warnings. Now, in the gruelling aftermath of having those photos leaked to the media, it was Kai’s turn to ignore him. His daemon stayed several paces ahead of him when they walked, kept out of sight entirely during their regular activities and generally just refused to be any nearer to him than necessary. It saddened Ohno to know his daemon was punishing him for his mistakes. He missed the sound of her voice and the feel of her tail when it curled around one of his limbs; how strange it felt to not have her climb up onto his shoulder at any given chance.

Ohno felt bad for his fellow members as well. Arashi was finally becoming known and appreciated. The dynamics between them were changing for the better as each of the members found their place amongst the group. Things were finally looking up for them all, and now this had happened. Even if the rumours were mostly fabricated, Ohno knew all of them would still be significantly affected by this. They had all seen the extent of scandals before and were more than aware of how considerable the repercussions were on a group when a member was involved. Loss of popularity and credibility, as well damage to the intimacy between members were just some of the typical consequences expected. For Ohno though, he knew his scandal was much worse than most and feared what would happen to the rest of Arashi because of him.

His fears were not met. Instead of avoiding him or judging him much like his own daemon was doing for the scandal he had caused, the rest of Arashi stuck closer to him than ever before. They offered their support in their own individual ways. Nino and Aiba were clingier than usual, giving him physical comfort even when he did not ask for it. The two seemed to be alternating between them with providing affection to him. Jun acted highly protective of him; he was almost like a bodyguard, if Ohno were to try and describe it. He had never seen the younger man looking quite so intimidating than he was when people, particularly interviewers and others from the mass media attempted to get too close. Yet when they were alone as either the two of them or with the other members only, Jun acted entirely gentle towards him. Sho took it on himself to cover for Ohno during their shows. He would be the one to answer the questions asked by hosts or during group interviews. His remarks held a sharper edge to them than they usually did, with a defensive undertone almost always present even if the questions posed for Ohno had nothing directly related to his recent scandal. Furthermore the other members sat and stood closer to him when filming, Ohno had noticed. Their daemons too were keeping close to Kai and seemed to be offering her constant forms of affection as well. Between nuzzling, shy licks and flanking the little monkey as though to protect her with their own bodies, the other four daemons remained as close to her as the members did with Ohno. He was sure they must have said something to his daemon too as Kai quickly lost interest in the grudge she’d been holding against him and soon returned to his side.

Rather than suffering, the intimacy of the group seemed to be helped by the rumours circling their leader. It touched Ohno’s heart to see what they were all doing, and just by knowing they were doing it for his sake on more than one occasion very nearly brought tears to his eyes.

\---

Aiba was terrified—terrified that his life was over. Terrified for Lanae. Terrified that he would no longer be a part of Arashi. When he was first hospitalized due to his collapsed lung, these were the only thoughts in his head. The doctors had assured him he would be fine and even though he would never be able to play the saxophone again, he would most likely make a full recovery, but for probably the first time in his life Aiba hadn’t the slightest ray of hope in his heart.

His family, the members and several of his other friends had all come to visit him in the week that he was in hospital. They too had seen how much this incident had changed the man they all knew. He looked like Aiba, sounded like Aiba, even had a wallaby daemon exactly like Aiba’s, but every one of them was convincing this was _not_ Aiba. There was nothing bright and bubbly about the man lying in that hospital bed; no optimistic gaze or smile that shone as brilliantly as the sun that burned in their skies. It was as though everything that made him Aiba Masaki had been ripped away from him, and they all feared he would never be the same again.

They weren’t the only ones fearing this undesirable fate. Lanae had never seen Aiba like this before and it truly scared her. The experience of the lung collapse had of course frightened her but she did not think it had anything on what she was witnessing with Aiba now. She never thought she would miss the hyperactive, overly excited jewel box of smiles that was her human. When it was just the two of them in the hospital room, she would come as close to the bed as she could and whisper words of reassurance to him that they would be just fine; they would get out of there in no time and the others would be waiting anxiously for their return once their health was fully recovered. Like any other time, it appeared Aiba chose to ignore her but unlike in previous times where this was also the case, Lanae knew not what to do. She’d never had experience dealing with a depressed Aiba before. She prayed they would be discharged soon so that they might be able to return to the life they’d left behind. Maybe then Aiba would return to his usual self.

Aiba ran his hand over the scar on his chest. It was a permanent reminder of what had happened to him, a wound that would remain over his heart forever. He then reached over the bed and let his fingers move through his daemon’s fur. Just like his own, her chest had the deep indent of a scar as well but it was just a feeling. When Aiba brushed the fur back to reveal the skin, he saw it was entirely smooth. The sensation of the scar identical to his own was owing to the one running across his torso. He let his hand fall away with a sigh.

“We’re not going to be left behind, Masaki” Lanae repeated the words she had told him countless times since being admitted to hospital. Aiba said nothing even if his daemon seemed to have been reading his aching thoughts.

Both of them missed Arashi. They had come to really enjoy being with the other members and their daemons. Through the tough times and the fun times, they had been together as five. It felt like a dream, a miracle, that they had made it as far as they had. There had been plenty of opportunities to quit, to abandon the rest and never look back. Yet every one of them had stayed put and their currently lives were more amazing than any of them thought it could be. Aiba wanted to stay as five but it seemed his greatest fear was coming true. The other members were working hard to fulfil the work he could not do himself; this much Aiba knew for certain, and was torn between being grateful for their kindness and feeling guilty for forcing them to work that much harder on his behalf. He wanted to be there with them. The responsibility was his as a member and no matter what anyone else said, he felt he was being left behind.

It wasn’t until a week after their surgery that Aiba and Lanae were released from hospital. They were fairly sure their hasty discharge was on account of the agency; being allowed to leave under the condition of resuming only the most sedentary of their daily activities seemed to confirm this suspicion. Until further notice neither of them were permitted to do anything strenuous or carry out any movement that would increase their heartrate. This meant they were not allowed to participate in Arashi’s upcoming concert. Aiba was devastated by this fact. Things were made even worse when the other members insisted he still be involved and he was forced to watch in the crowd, just another member of the audience, as the concert took place. Having to stand back and watch from the sidelines as the four of them moved on without him was excruciating. It was like a glimpse into his life without Arashi.

But when the concert was over and the four of them embraced him with such longing evident in their touch, their voices mingling but their questions filled with concern for his health and nothing else ringing clear, Aiba was left feeling utterly guilt-stricken. They weren’t moving on without him—they were right here with him as five, just as they had always been; just as they were meant to be. He could feel the reassurance they were each receiving just by being with him now in that moment, suffering just as much as he in knowing their fellow member had endured so much pain. Aiba felt the tears welling up in his eyes and couldn’t help glancing down at Lanae. She was right, as usual. They weren’t leaving him behind. Not now, not ever.


	9. What Goes on Below

Inside the stadium was an uproar of screaming fans, blaring speakers and music that ricocheted so loudly within the dome structure of the concert hall. The concert was nearing its climax, the tension of every individual within the stadium rising. The air was thick and suffocating even with the air conditioners blowing at full capacity. The excited and previously deafening shouts of the audience were drowned out by the prominent voices of the five on stage; their choreographed movement was stimulating to watch as they danced in perfect unison with each other, their voices harmonizing with near perfect accuracy to their CD recordings. Pyrotechnic explosions and the blinding flickering of the stage lights were only adding to the overwhelming excitement that hung in the atmosphere.

Hidden away from sight underneath the stage they danced upon were the member’s daemons. This far into the concert the adrenaline was starting to wear off, resulting in a wave of exhausting hitting each daemon and affiliated member. Being immersed in the atmosphere above, the members were able to conceal this sudden fatigue more effectively and kept whatever pain they were feeling hidden from the audience watching their every move. It was what they’d been trained to do since they were juniors.

The daemons did their best to hold on while knowing it would only be a few more songs before the encore break, during which time they would stay close to their humans to revitalize. Like the members, their daemons knew the song list and choreography for memory. It was an essential component of the concert to prevent any accidents from occurring. Each daemon needed to know where their human was without the need to see them while the members were also required to trust in their daemons that they might know where they were supposed to be. It was a difficult and potentially hazardous practice that they appeared to have come close to mastering over the years. Mistakes were still made every now and then of course. A forgotten movement or position was not uncommon, and the members occasionally liked to improvise at certain points in the concert, resulting in their daemon needing to do the same and use the bond between them to lead him or her wherever the member went.

At the moment there was no need for that. The five members were engaging in the more intense of their choreographed performances and were keeping to the main stage where it was easiest for the daemons to hide. They each had their own ways of coping with the separation. Kai and Makami were known to try and cheat the system by scaling the structure of the under-stage so that they might remain closer Sho and Ohno, even if it wasn’t by much. Since their miraculously fast recovery after the collapsed lung incident, Aiba and Lanae found they were able to stretch the distance of their separation further than any of the others in the group. Nino was known to sit or crouch on the stage more often than he ought to; while the fans often considered this to be just him being his usual indolent self, the members and staff knew he was in actual fact trying to ease the twinge by getting closer to where Keitan was hidden below. Seriaya had a far more straining coping mechanism. Her settled form would not allow her the option of getting closer to the underneath of the stage and Jun was hardly the type to follow Nino’s overly relaxed behaviour. Simply dealing with the sharp ache that racked both of their bodies was the best they could do. In rehearsals they would both practice hard to try and further the distance they could achieve between them, though with little effect. It resulted in further exhaustion, of course, but it was the only option they felt they had. Signs of it could sometimes be seen if one looked close enough. During interludes where the members engaged in concert talks, Jun would often take longer to contribute to the conversation than the rest. When they moved from stage to stage, he was usually the last one to do so and usually lagged a good few paces behind the others. The signs were small but they were there.

Their daemons were at their sides the instant the members retreated backstage to wait for the encore call. Relief swept over each of them when they were reunited. Energy surged through their veins as they held their daemons close, drawing strength from one another and allowing their bodies and minds to heal from the stretch of the separation. The relief was short lived though as the sounds of the audience echoed up from the stage, their demanding cries for Arashi to return seeming to circle them. The members changed at lightning speed, with the staff doing their task of helping them switch costumes quickly even while they remained close to their daemons. There was a reluctance to return. The concert was going very well and while they were always something the five members gained much enjoyment from, there was hesitation to return to the centre stage.

Leaving their daemons was a struggle but there was no real choice in the matter. After but a few more desperate moments of respite, the members hurried to back to the stage entrance which opened soon after the first song of the encore started to play. The daemons staggered slightly; the first separation was always the worst.

“Where’s he going this time?” sighed Makami, fluttering her wings in preparation to take flight in order to follow where Sho was running off down the side stage. It had reached yet another unrestricted portion of the concert. The choreography was loose or otherwise non-existent, resulting in the members being free to run about the various stages and moving platforms as they pleased. All five daemons knew what this meant for them. Exchanging glances with one another, they split up and darted off after where they felt their humans were going.

\---

There was nothing that could have prepared Arashi, their audience or even his daemon for what Aiba had install for tonight. In a previous concert, his unique mind combined with his desire to fly had seen the birth of what was labelled the most ridiculous experiment in all of Japan. With the cooperation of the staff, aid of the members and audience, and 3600 balloons, Aiba had swum through the air of the arena. But still he was not satisfied. The success of that experiment had only spurred his inspiration further, and thus came the beginning of his newest idea.

“Can a person be lifted into the air by the suction power of vacuum cleaners?”

In the silence of the arena, Aiba’s voice echoed loudly. The daemons all glanced around at one another in question as the man’s curious inquisition circled their minds. With a muttered “idiot”, Lanae’s head dropped to her chest in defeat. Her human had made mention of this to her at an earlier date and she was convinced she had managed to talk him out of undertaking such a foolish experiment. Now she knew she was sorely mistaken.

The other members were already questioning his thinking. They quizzed the audience in regards to whether anyone else thought it would be possible and reprimanded Aiba for his contradictory claim in using home vacuums so anyone would be able to do it while using specialized machinery no one else could obtain access to. When Nino provided his fellow member with an oxygen canister so that he would not run out of air while conducting the experiment, Lanae felt a slight pang strike her chest as Aiba’s heartrate increased quite significantly, only now realizing the potential dangers the experiment posed—the same dangers his daemon had endeavoured to point out to him prior to the concert.

“Your human really is an idiot” Keitan chuckled from beside her. The other daemons appeared to be getting just as enthusiastic about the impending experiment as their humans were on the stage above them.

Lanae turned to give the fox a glare. “He’s just…unprecedented.” As his daemon, she would fiercely protect Aiba till the very end but her heart stung a little in not ever being able to understand him. She wanted to believe her human was just unique, that he merely had a different way of thinking to everyone else and he wasn’t actually crazy, but she was beginning to lose hope in him the longer these ridiculous experiments went on.

A hiss sounded from the stage and at once the air around her began to thin. Lanae knew then their current experiment was starting. Aiba was inside the box above her with 10 vacuum cleaners; she hoped in vain they would be enough to lift her human so that an end to this madness might be brought about quickly. There was a rumble coming from above as the members and audience were awed by the first attempt Aiba was making. It only lasted a few second before the excitable member called for the vacuums to be turned off. His request was not met immediately as Jun teasingly played ignorant for a moment or two longer before finally flicking the switch back off. Lanae’s muscles, tense from her human’s attempt and increased nerve, glared over at Jun’s daemon. Seriaya met her gaze with a look of feigned innocence before lowering her muzzle to give her chest a quick groom. The daemons were interrupted by Arashi overhead as they avidly discussed the results of the experiment.

“From here it looked like you were about to rise up” Nino was saying, his tone somewhat impressed and hinting at his eagerness to see his friend actually achieve this insane experiment.

“I think I was!” came Aiba’s even keener reply. “I was almost floating!”

“Did you feel lighter?”

“Yeah, I’m kind of scared” he admitted with a nod to Ohno’s question.

When Lanae heard her human admit his nerve, she held her breath in anticipation that perhaps he would give up before things became even more terrifying. But her hope died the moment Sho laughed with a teasing remark about Aiba’s tension having gone down so suddenly, which only prompted perhaps an even stronger enthusiasm than he’d had before to continue with twelve.

With only two additional vacuums, the difference in suction power was substantial. Lanae stifled a gasp as a wave of light-headedness hit her so suddenly, catching her off guard and making her sway. The ground beneath her felt as though it were turning to air while her whole body became unsteady, her legs shaking as all sense of balance was lost. Just when the daemon was fearing she would be carried right off her feet, Aiba yelled to turn the vacuums off again. His hysteric cries were only causing her own anxiety to rise though, the floating feeling not vanishing for several moments until finally his desperate screams were answered and the switch was turned.

Aiba gave neither himself nor his daemon any time to recover as almost the minute the vacuums had been turned off, he was declaring it would work and that they would move up to fourteen next. While Nino carry the added two machines over to be hooked up, Sho came in close to Aiba’s containment to check that he was in fact all right in there. Below the stage, Makami settled herself on Lanae’s back, who glanced over her shoulder at the sparrow.

“Are you alright?” she asked in sync with her human above. “Can you breathe okay?”

“For now.”

“I can still breathe fine.” Aiba and Lane answered simultaneously. “But it might be dangerous if I get too excited or something.”

Lanae scoffed hearing her human’s next words ricocheting through the arena and down to the hidden space beneath the stage. That was precisely his problem; he always became too excited. It was never a matter of _if_ it happened, but _when_ it happened. The other members continued to talk above them, their conversations consisting of their mixed fear and excitement for the possible outcomes of this experiment.

“It’s scary but it’s fun!” At most Aiba’s daemon could agree with half of his statement.

The switch was turned and again the air around them began to change. As Aiba was pulled up slightly along with the board he stood upon, Lanae felt herself becoming utterly weightless. The run through with fourteen swiftly ended, with the beginning of their attempt with fifteen vacuums starting up just as quick as the realization that Aiba was on the brink of success occurred in the minds of every person in the stadium. Almost the instant the vacuums were turned on once more, Lanae felt herself being pulled upwards. Her feet remained securely on the ground but her body was shaking as her human was lifted in the container above her. The board lifted him higher and higher within the box the more he found his balance. Though he held the canister of oxygen in his hand, he thought nothing of the lack of air around him, entirely immersed in the pull. His daemon could not breathe. It was a strange and frightening sensation, one which stole all control from her body and left her feeling both helpless and free all at once. Then a pain struck her at the base of her neck. Her head twisted at an awkward angle while the rest of her stiffened when a constricting feeling struck her body like the space around her was shrinking. Finally it ended and she collapsed to the ground. The other four daemons ran to her side. A rush of oxygen flowed through Lanae’s lungs.

She was completely exhausted. Her heart was hammering against her chest and her insides were screaming for relief. Aiba had flown. He’d risen all the way to the top by the suction power of vacuums, then fell. His daemon had felt it all.

“That was insane!” Seriaya startled, giving the wallaby a nudge to help her back up while Kai did what she could to push the daemon up from her other side.

“I want to see it again!” Nino’s exclamation was closely followed by an array of similar calls from the other members as they more than encouragingly shoved Aiba back in the general direction of the container.

The daemons crowded around Lanae who gave a soft whimper, anxiously anticipating a breathless repeat of the experience. She really hated A no Arashi.

\---

Seriaya stared out at the empty stadium, inhaling a long breath as she took in the vast splendour of it all. She had been in plenty of concert venues before but this was different and much more special than most. Arashi was currently conducting a tour around Asia. Already they had seen so many memorable things but the view from up here was one Seriaya was certain she would never forget. It was an outdoor stadium with rows of seats scaling high up into air, encircling the centre stage from almost every angle. The stadium was coloured by a faint golden hue. The sun was just starting to set and as the last rays of light from the passing day touched Seriaya’s dark fur, turning her pelt to glowing silhouette against the painted sky, the daemon was filled with a sudden warmth that made her purr in content. Hearing her, Jun could not help but smile.

She was not used to witnessing scenery like this. As the daemon of a Johnny’s, she was expected to remain hidden below the stage for the length of the concert. The rare fleck of sky at dusk seen through the crowded metal structure was the extent of her view normally when they held performances outdoors. It always astonished the fans to see their idols performing on stage seemingly unaffected despite their daemons being nowhere in sight. In rehearsals they were allowed to stay out in the open as the distance between them and their humans was lessened, providing a less painful experience and thus conserving the energy of all of them for the back-to-back nights of performances to come. But even during these times when the daemons were out in the open, it was rare for them to be able to stand back and simply admire the beauty taking place above their heads, too preoccupied with the preparations to be made.

In all honesty, Seriaya had come to dread concerts. She was almost prepared to say she despised them. As Arashi gained popularity and were given more opportunity to use bigger stadiums to accommodate the increase in fans, the separation between the members and their daemons was stretched further. What had once been a few short hours of discomfort and tingling waiting backstage or under the low-rise platforms had now become sharp pangs occurring incessantly for even greater periods of time. The daemons were made to race back and forth as the members moved between the various stages. Underground passages were needed to account for the invention of the moving platform while both daemons and their humans were forced to bear with the excruciating ache that came when the members were raised using the elevation structures. All setups made for amazing concerts but the consequential suffering was immense.

Seriaya felt a sense of guilt. She only wanted what was best for Jun and knew she would stand by him regardless but the pain they both felt was truly unbearable. She longed so much to be able to speak with her human so that they might be able to find a better alternate and a less painful solution for concerts, but knew she would never have the courage to do so. Concerts were everything to Jun. She did not need to be his daemon to know this. It was clear from the effort he put into planning each and every tour, using both the ambiance of their location and any theatrics his mind could concoct while demonstrating meticulous attention to even the smallest of details in order to create the best possible performance they could put on. He would arrive early and stay late into the night to ensure everything was perfect. Seriaya was proud of the effort he exerted for the sake of the fans and knew how much he loved doing what they were doing, but the both of them were exhausted. Between the lack of sleep during concerts and the added pain that came from the drawn-out periods of separation from each other, Jun’s daemon knew they were reaching their limit.

The members had been rehearsing all day in preparation for the impending performance and while the other four and their daemons had already called it a night after tiring hours of practice, Jun showed no sign of having the intention to leave before the night was up. Seriaya wasn’t necessarily surprised by this. Tomorrow was their first concert of the tour held in this region; Jun would be up all night preparing and perfecting every detail for it if he could. Neither the staff nor his daemon would allow this of course.

Seriaya suppressed a sigh, sitting atop the main stage and watching as her human frantically distributed orders to the few staff members who remained. Between organizing, Jun would make slight gestures with his arms and move with small steps that Seriaya recognized as being the choreography for part of their concert. One of the disadvantages of managing the concert meant Jun was not able to rehearse in the same way that the other members did for part of the time, which often resulted in him and Seriaya staying even later to practice alone much like he was doing now. The panther lay down and crossed her paws over as she resigned to the probability that they would not be leaving anytime soon.

“Seriaya,” Jun called to his daemon. She lifted her head to meet his gaze and rose to her paws when he signalled for her to come closer.

“Tell me we’re leaving.” Seriaya held little hope in her heart that it was what Jun had called her over for but it didn’t stop her from asking anyway. It came as no surprise when Jun shook his head but when he gestured at the ground below, Seriaya’s tail twitched distressingly.

“Go beneath.”

Seriaya stared up at her human in disbelief. “What?”

She could hardly comprehend what he was asking of her. She knew better than to believe he simply wanted her to go beneath the stage for a moment—what Jun was asking was far more. He wanted her to remain down there while he rehearsed as a test run of the concert.

“It’s a new stage setup, one we haven’t used before” Jun pointed out, seemingly unaffected by the horrified expression she wore. “I need to gain a better idea of how the separation will affect us and to do that, you need to go down there.”

“Jun, that’s dangerous!” his daemon exclaimed.

“It’s nothing we haven’t done before, now go.”

A deep growl rose from Seriaya’s throat. Her ears angled back in frustration and she spun around to jump off the stage to do as he had instructed. Jun was right in saying they’d done this before. At least once in almost every tour they had been on, and every time it caused them both pain more excruciating than anything they had experienced so far. But this time there was an added danger. The stage was higher than any they’d been on before and Seriaya had seen how far under she and the other daemons would be required to go during the concert. It would be a separation further than what they were used to and the pain that came with it would surely be potent. She didn’t want to have to endure it any more than she had to, which was why it was with much resentment that she did as Jun asked and crawled under the stage. She respected his dedication and his devotion to his work, and as his daemon she loved him dearly, but he was going to get them both killed if he was not careful.

As soon as she had leapt off the stage and ducked beneath, Seriaya felt a spasm rack her body. She paused where she was as she gave herself a moment to try and adjust to the pain bearing down on her. A shudder ran through Jun on the stage above. He jolted with an audible gasp which escaped his lips when Seriaya pressed onwards to get into place. He grit his teeth at the same moment Seriaya dug her long claws into the ground. No matter how many times they’d done this before, the separation was always a painful process and one both of them knew they would never fully become accustomed to.

When the pain levelled out, growing no worse yet refusing to fade, Jun knew Seriaya had stopped where she was meant to. He forced himself past the agonizing sting seething through his every limb and proceeded with the choreography, shutting his eyes to better imagine the performance of the five of them tomorrow night. It would be perfect. It _had_ to be perfect. His breathing became short, his heartrate quickening as a sudden dizzying spell overcame him. He swayed on his feet. Opening his eyes, flecks of random colour appeared in his vision before a curtain of black engulfed his sight once more.

Something hard struck Seriaya like a blow to the chest. She staggered and gasped for breath, her paws giving way beneath her. She struggled to get back to her feet but it was as though she were slowly becoming paralysed. Her paws began to spasm and she looked on in fear as she lost control of her own body. With the last of her strength, the daemon turned her fading vision skywards to the bottom of the stage and uttered a soft, barely audible whisper. “Jun…”

\---

A bombardment of questions erupted from the other Arashi members when the concert staff first informed them of Jun’s condition. They had finished rehearsals and instead of returning to their hotel accommodation immediately, they’d decided to go to a nearby restaurant for a bite to eat before turning in. The four of them had just left and were on their way back to the hotel when they’d received the call. It had come to Ohno’s phone first and was from a number they all knew well, but the voice that had responded when Ohno picked up was not one he’d been expecting.

“There’s been an accident with Matsumoto-san” the staff member’s voice held a somewhat panicked tone and Ohno immediately switched to speakerphone so the other three would be able to listen as well.

“Eh? What happened?” Sho and Aiba were exchanging concerned glances while Nino’s posture had noticeably stiffened.

The staff member was quick to let them all know their youngest was fine despite having passed out after pushing himself too far from his daemon. The two were now reunited after the separation and were expected to be fully recovered before tomorrow morning.

“Where is Jun now?” the members demanded following the staff’s recollection of the incident.

“His manager has taken him back to the hotel you’re staying at” came the answer from the other end of the receiver. “He’s okay now but we thought it would be best to let you all know of his condition.”

Ohno hummed in agreeance to his words and thanked him for the call before hanging up. He looked to the other members. They weren’t that far from their accommodation but still they quickened their pace after hearing what had happened. The staff member who called them did his absolute best to assure them all nothing was wrong but the four of them knew better. He’d tried too hard to conceal the panic in his voice, spoke too quickly and used excessive words of reassurance to dumb down the concern he felt towards the situation. The members had little doubt he was telling the truth in saying Jun really was fine but it did not keep everyone from being worried, especially with the concert they were meant to hold tomorrow night.

They were right in thinking that. Those who had still been working at the venue there were thrown into a state of absolute panic when they saw Jun suddenly collapse on the stage. The concert staff ran about, a handful going up to check on him while another group of people darted under the stage to where his daemon was so that their daemons might be able to drag the panther back out before anything worse befell on account of the distance between her and Jun. The two had shown an instant response when they had been brought close to one another but there was no way of knowing for sure how long it would be until they regained consciousness once more. All anyone could do was end the rehearsals where they were and watch as Jun’s manager drove the two back to the hotel.

When the other four members arrived at hotel soon after receiving the call, Jun’s manager found them and gave them a spare key to the man’s room with a remark about them needing it if they were to check up on him. There was some debate about whether they should enter Jun’s room or not to do as his manager had suggested they do. None of them knew if he would have awakened by now and the desire to calm their own anxieties about the wellbeing of their youngest member was close to overbearing.

“Only one of us should go inside” Sho proclaimed, to which the other members nodded in agreement that it was probably for the best. Nino was already making his way to the door. Aiba looked slightly concerned when he did while Ohno merely observed closely with an unreadable expression on his face. Sho stepped forward to stop him. “Why you?”

Nino turned back to meet the other man’s eyes with a challenging glint in his gaze. “You go ahead then, if you think he’d be welcoming of you that is.”

Sho’s upper lip twitched slightly but he held his tongue. Pleased by both the reaction received and lack of response given, Nino opened the door. Keitan slipped through the tight gap, closely followed by his human.

Inside was silent. Nino could hear every breath he inhaled and watched as Keitan wove his way across the room to the bed where Jun and Seriaya lay asleep. Jun’s arm was reached out above him, acting as a headrest of sorts while his other was bent beneath his body with his hand outstretched towards the large black form of his daemon sleeping beside him. Her sizable body took up a fair amount of the bed but the two fitted well together on the mattress. Unconscious and tucked up beside one another, they looked completely at peace. The thought of why he had entered in the first place was very nearly lost from Nino’s mind as he stared at them. Familiar albeit daunting emotion began to well up inside of him, churning and building the longer he gazed upon the two sleeping so soundly.

“You know,” Keitan spoke up from where he sat at his human’s feet. “You’d save us both a lot of heartache if you just told him how you felt.”

Nino scoffed at him. “And face utter rejection? Yeah right. I think I’d rather not have my heart trampled on, if it’s all the same to you.”

He turned his gaze back to Jun and his daemon. They were both beautiful. Illuminated by an innocence Nino had never seen from them since long before Seriaya had settled, he could not keep his hand from reaching out. Keitan caught sight of what his human was doing and knew immediately of his forbidden intention. He wound his way between Nino’s legs and scaled his body.

“Hey, whoa. Stop it!” he barked at his human. “I know what you’re thinking and don’t. You really do not want to do this.”

Nino frowned at his daemon’s words. He swiftly scooped the fox up in his arms and dropped him back down onto the ground. Keitan bared his teeth at his frustrating action and leapt up onto the bedside table, then jumped onto the narrow line between Seriaya’s back and the edge of the bed. He balanced precariously but glared up at Nino, acting as a barrier between them. Nino tried to shoo him away but when Keitan snapped at his outstretched hand, he withdrew.

“I said _don’t!_ ” Keitan growled. Just when it seemed Nino had listened to him, the daemon letting his guard down for but a fraction of a second, Nino rushed forward and pressed his hand against Seriaya’s dark pelt. Keitan sprung up in an attempt to stop him that was interrupted as a sensual tingling rushed from Nino’s palm and flooded their bodies. It was both pleasurable and uncomfortable in every possible way. The feeling of it made their skin crawl and their toes curl. The fur on Keitan’s spine rose while Nino felt a tightness begin to form in the front of his pants as the pleasure engulfed his senses. At the same time he shuddered uncontrollably. Like a chilling wind that whipped through his insides, an icy sting took hold of him. It caused his muscles to tense and spasm, with Keitan falling from the bed as his joints became like jelly and he could no longer keep his limp body standing. Nino staggered back from the bed and gasped as the sensation hit its peak before ebbing away. He was left shivering from the experience. Keitan slowly dragged himself back to his paws with a soft grunt.

“You won’t tell him the truth but you’ll touch his daemon” he spat in contempt. “Congratulations on committing the worst taboo imaginable.”

Nino glanced his way for a brief moment, watching as his daemon turned tail to run over to the door before moving his gaze back towards the bed. Jun and Seriaya were still asleep but it was clear the experience had been felt by both of them as much as it had Nino and Keitan. Their tranquil faces were long gone, replaced by tense and pained expressions of those barely clinging to unconsciousness. There was nothing peaceful or beautiful anymore. They looked hurt, disturbed and violated.

Retreating to the door, Nino slipped back outside and exhaled the breath he didn’t know he had been holding.

“Well?”

Nino visibly jumped at the voice before realizing the other three members of Arashi were standing in front of the hotel room in wait for him. He quickly collected himself, a look of indifference sweeping over his face as he gave an unconcerned shrug.

“Like the staff-san said, he’s fine.” It was the only response he gave before sauntering off down the hallway to his own room. Even though Keitan walked in pace with him, he could feel the daemon’s aggravation from what had just occurred and as much as Nino may have wanted to, he knew he couldn’t blame him. His daemon was right. By touching Seriaya the way he had, without reasoning and without consent, Nino had done the unthinkable. The only thing left to wonder was what he should do now.


	10. To Break a Heart is to Break a Soul

Aiba had been worried about his friend. He’d known Nino for a long time and could always seem to tell whenever something was amiss with him. So when the other man had emerged from Jun’s room looking even paler than usual and jumped like a startled puppy when he noticed them, Aiba knew something must have been certainly wrong. The smaller guy had utilized his superb acting skills in order to brush off his fleeting but uncharacteristic reaction, before retreating to his own room. Even as he watched them go though, Aiba could sense a distance between Nino and his daemon.

“It’s been a long day. Maybe he was just tired” Lanae put forward the idea as she hopped alongside her human down the corridor to Nino’s room. Aiba had insisted on going to check up on his best friend and while Lanae had also sensed that something was wrong, she knew they all needed to be well rested for tomorrow’s concert. The unexpected scare with Jun and Seriaya had delayed their chances to rest and they could all guess finding sleep after what had happened would be no easy task.

When Nino had gone inside, the others were left in an uncertain daze. Knowing it was the distance between a member being on the stage and their daemon being under that was the cause of Jun passing out mid-rehearsal had the members justifiably concerned. Questions were raised about the safety component of this new stage and the dangers that came alongside performing tomorrow evening. The daemons were in a frenzy knowing Seriaya had been brought down by the same separation they were all expected to make in less than twenty-four hours. Sho had been quick to reassure both his fellow members and all their daemons that with the adrenaline which came with performing live, there would surely be no danger, right before commenting that Jun had probably just been pushing himself too hard as always. Ohno mumbled his agreement with an added remark about their youngest always striving to push himself beyond his physical limitations. Aiba knew they were right but he couldn’t help feeling put off by the thought of what had happened. When Nino finally came back out, he’d mistaken the paleness of their friend’s complexion for a similar shocked reaction to seeing Jun and Seriaya like that. This line of thought was soon discarded however as the rest of Nino’s response came to pass.

It was this reason which prompted Aiba to go see his friend now. It was late and he was tired, as was Lanae, and there was no telling if Nino would even still be awake at this hour, but Aiba felt the need to at least try. As he raised his hand to knock, Lanae’s ears flicked and angled towards the door. She hopped a little closer while Aiba listened out. There were voices coming from the other side.

“I don’t want to talk to you!” Keitan spat with far more anger than Aiba thought any daemon should have towards their human.

Concerned, Aiba glanced down at Lanae. His eyes were glistening with worry as he silently questioned his daemon whether they should still enter or not. Lanae raised her paw and struck the wood of the door to create a loud enough thud for those inside to hear. There was no answer. Aiba hesitantly grasped the door handle and pushed it open, surprised to find it was open.

Nino was sitting with his head down on the edge of the bed, his hands in his lap as he stared blankly at the floor. Keitan had jumped up on top of the high cabinet situated in the room and was watching with narrowed eyes as Aiba and Lanae entered. Aiba felt his heart beating hard against his ribcage. The tension in the room was suffocating and he feared learning what exactly they had just walked into.

“I did something” Nino’s voice was barely more than a whisper and Aiba wasn’t sure if his friend was speaking to him or himself. Whether Nino even realized he was there was questionable. But when the other man lifted his head to meet his gaze, Aiba received his answer. “Something bad.”

A disbelieving snort sounded from the other side of the room.

“Bad?” his daemon choked out. He rose to his paws and leapt down from his high place. “What you did was the worst! Completely inexcusable, unforgiveable, disgust—”

“I get it!” Nino snapped at him through gritted teeth before letting his head fall once more. He ran his hands over his face. “I don’t know what to do, Masaki.”

Aiba sat down next to him. “What happened? I can’t help if I don’t know.” Nino shook his head and collapsed back onto the bed dramatically.

“I touched her,” came the stifled response from underneath Nino’s small hands. “Jun’s daemon.”

His words triggered a kneejerk reaction from his friend. Aiba’s upper body jolted forward while the rest of him seemed to slide backwards on the bedspread. With his mouth hanging open and eyes so wide they threatened to bulge right out of their sockets, his expression was one of complete and utter shock. Lanae’s eyes had taken on a terrified glint as her gaze repeatedly flickered between Nino and Keitan with increasing pace and panic. When Keitan stood up, she bounded over to her human on an impulse.

“I didn’t do anything!” Keitan barked at her, unimpressed by the response she showed him like he was some sort of poisonous being that was too dangerous to be near. “I tried to stop him from doing it.”

“You touched Jun’s daemon?” Aiba spluttered. The words could barely come out coherently as he struggled to even get his mind around Nino’s confession. “But why? How could you…I mean, why would you do that?”

Nino sat upright. Though he was glaring, his expression lacked its usual confidence and control. “It was a natural reaction. Given the circumstances, anyone would have done it. Wouldn’t you touch Becky’s daemon if you had the chance?”

“No!” Aiba answered immediately and honestly, rising to his feet in an unconscious motion. A crush on her he might have had but without consent and mutual feeling, he would never touch the daemon of another. Nino seemed completely taken aback by his answer. His face slowly fell, going from angry to confused to dejected before finally settling on ashamed.

“I am the worst…”

Giving a sigh at how pitiful his friend looked, Aiba sat back down. “I didn’t realize you felt this serious about it.”

“It’s not like I want to feel this way” Nino whined.

Aiba felt his heart clench. He’d known for quite some time about the other man’s feelings for Jun and had done all that he could from the sidelines to help his friend’s worsening situation. He watched and waited to see if there were any mutual feelings from Jun’s side, had tried to set Nino up in the past as distractions so that he might move on, and had even offered himself as a buffer between them when it came to fan service. Aiba was convinced that Jun also held feelings for Nino and if it were possible he’d want to see the two of them get together officially, but the odds of that happening, especially now, seemed next to none.

“You should tell him” Aiba suggested gently as his arm wrapped around his friend. “About your feelings, touching Seriaya, everything.”

“I can’t do that” Nino stammered, turning with a look of disbelief.

Aiba held his gaze. “I know it’ll be hard but you touched his daemon. He deserves to know.”

Unable to find a reply, Nino turned away once more. Both Keitan and Lanae were staring at him. There was something unsettling about Aiba’s daemon having more sympathy in her eyes than his own, who continued to hold his stony glare. In the back of his mind, Nino knew he was right. Aiba and Keitan, they were both right, but telling Jun the truth was something he’d always feared. Pouring his heart out only to be rejected was a dreaded but given outcome of revealing his feelings; now with the added factor of having illicitly touched his daemon, whilst sleeping no less, only complicated matters further.

\---

Something was not right. From the moment consciousness finally returned to him and Jun opened his eyes, he knew things were not as they should be. A faint tingle was occurring through his body, neither comfortable nor wholly unpleasant. It felt as though he had been delicately touched by something so foul and lecherous. Discomfort surrounded him and the need to be near his daemon had never felt so strong. Seriaya still lay on her side next to him. She had roused the same moment as him but took her time to pull herself up.

“I told you it was dangerous” she grumbled. “Without adrenaline, the separation is too much to handle.”

Jun wasn’t listening to her complaints against his prior judgement; he was far too immersed in his concerns over this unsettling sensation. He ran his hand over the panther daemon’s dark pelt. The tingling spiked and he saw a flash of white behind his eyes. It was only for a moment and faded a heartbeat later, but it was so intense that it left Jun shaking. He inhaled a sharp breath while Seriaya stared at him with eyes blown wide open.

“What was that?”

Neither knew of this feeling they shared nor the meaning behind why they were experiencing it, but both feared to learn the answer. Only one reason came to mind of what could have been the cause. Jun exchanged a wary glance with his daemon. Neither of them wished to believe it could be true.

Even as the day progressed with the final rehearsals for the night’s performance, their fears would not be suppressed. The sensation seemed to refuse to die away completely, though Jun was certain this was little more than their minds playing a cruel trick on them. The longer it remained with them, the worse things became. Nothing felt right. Being in such close proximity with the other members felt uncomfortable and threatening. It was as though they were being surrounded, and it made them panic. He was being driven mad by all of this. His daemon refused to leave his side and Jun was glad of this. He didn’t want her to go anywhere from him while they felt this vulnerable.

Nino, having painfully witnessed the worrying behaviour Jun and Seriaya had been displaying throughout rehearsals, decided now was the time to act. He hadn’t wanted to tell Jun the truth at all. He would have been perfectly content with forgetting it had ever happened but seeing the younger now and the torment he was obviously suffering from a cause unknown even to him, Nino knew he had no other choice. At this rate it would ruin the concert and that was something none of them wanted to see happen. Aiba’s voice was still playing over in his head like an annoying recording that would not stop. Jun deserved to know; Nino hated when his friend was right. He feared Jun’s reaction to the truth and it was a fear that only grew with every step that brought him closer to the heart-wrenching feat he was about to undertake.

When the two of them were approached by Nino and his daemon, Jun wasn’t sure how to react. Nino was a fellow member and a friend; he hoped this feeling of dread rising within him at the sight of the other man was nothing more than his own paranoia. Nino pulled him aside from the rehearsals so that they might be alone. Jun couldn’t help noticing the look of guilt glistening in the smaller guy’s eyes. Keitan was staring at the ground and shuffling from paw to paw.

“Did you…uh, did you sleep well?” There was a slight stammer in Nino’s voice that Jun wasn’t used to hearing from him. “You look kind of off.”

“What do you want, Nino?” Jun questioned, trying not to scoff at the irony of Nino’s statement when it was he who was acting off with how serious he suddenly was. Jun’s eyes narrowed slightly. It wasn’t the concern which made him suspicious but Nino sounded just as he normally did when he was dodging an uncomfortable topic. Jun felt his hunch must have been right when he saw Nino wince and look away.

“I needed to talk to you.”

“About?”

“Last night.” Nino would not meet his gaze. “We heard about what happened and when I went into your room to check if you were okay, I sort of…touched your daemon.”

The words struck Jun sharply like a knife stabbing through his chest. His mouth fell open while Seriaya backed up into him in her joint shock. Tears began to form in Jun’s eyes as the feelings of violation he’d felt upon awakening all came rushing back.

“W-Why?” The word came out sounding more like a broken whimper.

Nino looked lost by the question asked of him. “Curiosity?” Jun’s expression turned to one of utter disgust, his tear-glazed eyes filling with disbelief at the reply he was given. “I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking.”

That much Jun wasn’t going to argue. His mind was racing with the recollection of his most recent dreaming. Last night he’d felt something burn deep inside of him, a dark and unnerving feeling like he’d never known before and hoped to never feel again. When he’d woken he held no memory of his subconscious experience but a fraction of the feeling remained, a small remnant of what he’d felt. Having no other explanation for it, Jun had written it off as a bad dream. Now he knew it’d been real. He had been violated in the worst possible way and the only reason Nino had to give was curiosity? His upper lip was twitching as he fought to find the right words to respond.

“Leave” he eventually got his voice to function once more. He stepped back when Nino took a step towards him. Jun’s hand was on Seriaya’s flank, pulling her out of his reach in fear that he would dare to touch her again.

“Jun…” Nino tried but Jun cut him off.

“Don’t touch me!” he seethed through gritted teeth. “Don’t _ever_ touch me.”

Nino stared at Jun and his daemon for a moment longer. The man’s words slashed through his heart and caused a pain so unbearable that it made him turn on his heel and retreat with Keitan close behind. There was no need for further discussion. Jun had made himself clear.

The moment Nino was gone, Jun collapsed to his knees and drew Seriaya in close to him. He wrapped his arms around her neck and hugged her as tight as he could with his weak, trembling hands. He muttered words of apology against her fur—apologizing for what they’d experienced, for letting her be touched like that by someone else—and felt her nuzzle against him with a soft whimper. Nino had hurt him in a way that Jun thought he never would. It was a worse violation than he imagined it could be and a complete and utter betrayal from a friend. But more than that, Jun knew what he’d said to Nino hurt more than the other man would ever know.

\---

To say the rest of Arashi were worried about Jun would be an understatement. They’d been quick to catch on to the strange behaviour of their youngest. Since their final rehearsals for tonight’s performance had begun early that morning, he had not been acting like himself. If one of them tried to approach him or even simply call out to him, Jun would jump at the sudden voice and turn to face them like a deer caught in headlights. They had witnessed the moment when one of the makeup artists had gone to fix up his hair before the concert—the moment she touched him from behind, he had spun around with such speed and force that it made her visibly flinch. \

His daemon too was acting odd, having not left his side all day. It was this that made the others certain that something was amiss with their fellow member. Jun preferred for Seriaya to keep her distance even in rehearsals. It was good practice for the separation during their concerts and it allowed her to memorize the choreography easier without the risk of getting in the way of anyone else, what with her settled form being as sizable as it was. But today she had been flanking him every minute of every hour. She refused to leave her human’s side, though the other members and their daemons had to admit her behaviour seemed far from her usual protectiveness. The fur along her spine seemed to be almost permanently raised while her tail was twitching and lashing uncontrollably over the most mundane of things. She would growl at just about anything that came even remotely close to either of them.

Most worryingly of all though was their demeanour during the concert itself. Just as he had throughout the day, Jun was not proving to be like himself. His actions were rash and careless, and the air in general that he was giving off was far from the anticipated excitement of an Arashi member mid-concert. For the first half it was mostly contained but in the second the other members had to admit it was frightening to watch as a switch seemed to be flicked somewhere inside his mind. He was everywhere on the stage. Separating himself from the other members, Jun would race up the stairs to the massive fire blazing on the highest stage point then, despite the danger and the factor of height, he’d proceed to run back down them and jump from the final few steps. This daring routine was repeated throughout the concert. During the talk, Jun scarcely participated. He vanished off stage without warning, leaving the four of them to come up with an explanation to give the audience off the cuff. The few times when he did speak, he was very out of character with his usual self, so much so that the other members could not hold their tongues about it. Nino was also unusually agreeable with whatever comment Jun made but the younger never acknowledged his input. If anything it seemed like he was refusing to even look at Nino. His actions brought about much suspicion from both Sho and Ohno, and worry from Aiba who knew exactly of the horrifying circumstances taking place.

Jun’s solo was angry. There was no other word to possibly describe it. The other members as they watched from backstage with their daemons were left rather stunned by the aggressive performance. All of them had seen Jun performing this solo before but never had they witnessed such blatant rage. It was quite terrifying, and memorable for far from the desired reasons.

Beneath the stage, Seriaya was doing her absolute best to keep up with Jun. Her human’s unexpected actions made her life even more difficult, the directions he went and destinations on stage he suddenly desired to go to putting her head in an absolute spin, but she did what she could. She would not let him out of range. Even with the adrenaline helping with their separation, she feared having a repeat of yesterday’s incident.

A growl rose in her throat when Keitan approached her. “Go away” she spat at him. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough already?”

“I tried to stop him,” Keitan insisted. His voice lacked its usual bite and instead held an almost pleading tone, as though desperate for Seriaya to believe him. She wouldn’t—she _couldn’t_. She had never trusted that sly daemon or his equally sly human, and now she had a justified reason for feeling that way. It almost disappointed her though as she had been trying hard to settle things with Nino’s daemon just as Jun had asked of her, and during that time she’d come to develop a bit of a soft spot for him. Now it was tainted.

Seriaya opened her mouth to give a nasty reply when she felt a pull inside of her. Jun was on the move again. She shut her eyes with a silent sigh and glanced back briefly at Keitan with a look that spoke of all she’d left unsaid, right before running off after Jun.

\---

Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months, and still Jun had not shown any signs of forgiving Nino for the unspeakable deed he’d committed. Any attempt he had made to try and approach the younger went to waste as Jun refused to get any closer to him than necessary. The incident was having a disastrous effect on Arashi as Jun distanced himself even further from not just Nino but the other three as well. The dynamics of the group were being strained more and more with every passing day. It was becoming difficult to hide the fact that things were not right between the members while at the same time Jun’s isolating behaviour was getting harder to ignore.

The other three members could tell almost immediately that things were not right between their two youngest. Sho and Ohno, whilst not knowing for certain what exactly had happened, had a hunch of the inconceivable reason behind their damaged relation. Neither dared to voice their thoughts on the matter though, and Aiba was forced into silence. Any time his mind conjured the memory of what Nino had admitted to doing he felt a terrible shiver run through his body. Often when this happened Lanae had to step in and calm him down before he burst into tears.

Nino was at his wit’s end. He knew he was in the wrong for doing what he had but any time he tried to apologize for his thoughtless action, he was shut down before being given the chance. He was tired of being ignored by Jun. After filming one day, he decided he’d had enough. He stood in the doorway of their green room and watched as Jun packed up his things. Nino had uttered a small warning to the other members to keep them from walking in on something they most assuredly did not want to see. What he had planned had the potential to make things a lot worse and they probably would considering Nino had little hope of Jun giving him an opportunity to even talk, but he was down to his last resort. Every method he’d attempted in order to make things right so far, conventional or otherwise, had completely failed, leaving him with but one option left. Controversy had gotten him into this; perhaps controversy would get him out of it.

Seriaya saw him before Jun did and was on the immediate defence. Nino did his best to ignore her hostile snarls and strolled through the room until he was standing opposite Jun. The other man’s expression hardened upon seeing him, his guard up the moment he recognized who was in his company. Keitan was balancing on Nino’s shoulder and remained perfectly silent as his human began to speak in a casual tone.

“Good work today” Nino started out with in a cool and friendly manner, trying to ease his way into a conversation. Truthfully he was quite scared by what he was planning and if he could find some way to avoid it, he would take any chance given to him.

Jun simply glared at him while his daemon flexed her claws threateningly against the carpet. The sound of it was truly unsettling and sent a chill down Nino’s spine when he saw her glowing golden eyes pinned on his daemon. Seeing neither were in the mood to cooperate—the same as they had been for weeks on end. Nino gave an irritated sigh.

“Come on, Jun. You don’t seriously plan on ignoring me forever do you?” he whined. When familiar silence was the only response he received, Nino clicked his tongue. He really didn’t want to have to do this. “Guess you leave me no choice then.”

Jun watched as Nino reached up and plucked Keitan from his shoulder. Even the daemon seemed surprised by his action and was looking quite baffled when Nino cradled him in his arms before slowly holding him out in offering towards Jun.

“Touch him.”

“What?” Jun nearly choked at Nino’s words. Seriaya was frozen where she was while Keitan’s outraged gaze was moving back and forth between Nino and Jun, unable to believe what had just come out of his human’s mouth.

“I touched your daemon, so it’s only fair for you to touch mine” Nino said with a shrug. He was doing his best to act apathetic towards the whole situation when every instinct inside of him was screaming to pull Keitan back and run out of the room. It took all the self-control he had not to do just that. His daemon was wriggling in his arms, fighting against what may have been about to take place, but Nino kept a firm grip on him. “An eye for an eye, right?”

It was this remark that made Jun narrow his eyes and a guttural growl sound from his daemon. “I’d never do what you did.”

The thought of what Nino wanted him to do was sickening. Memories of the reason the other man had given when Jun asked him why he’d touched Seriaya were rushing through his head. _Curiosity_. The word haunted him. If Nino was so curious to touch another’s daemon he should have touched Ohno’s or Aiba’s—someone he actually had a deep rapport with and could potentially get away with touching, not someone who they had never been outstandingly close with and whose daemon constantly fought with his own. Jun didn’t know if or when he would be able to forgive Nino for touching Seriaya, but now the man was trying to pass off the responsibility of such an appalling crime to him. Jun was disgusted by the mere thought of touching Keitan as a way for Nino to lessen the guilt he felt for the mistake he had made.


	11. PARADOX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. Will be taking a bit of a break from the angst.

Even as a child, Sho had suffered an acute fear of heights. The thought of flying absolutely terrified him; being in any place higher than a two metres off the ground made him suffer panic attacks ranging from mild to physically paralysing. When they performed in concert and were required to do wirework or use the elevation structures that raised them high into the air, Sho truly thought it was the worst. He was never able to use them during practice. Like separating from their daemons, Sho found he needed the adrenaline of the live performance to be able to endure the terrifying experience of being up so high. As the years went by and they performed more and more with different air theatrics, Sho found he had slowly become accustomed to concert related heights but his fear remained. His phobia was well-known amongst the other members, staff and fans. It was no secret; he never even tried to hide the obvious. He hated heights.

Sho had always wondered why his daemon settled as a sparrow. The rest of Arashi seemed to love teasing him about not only his fear but the irony of Makami’s form as well. It bothered Sho to know his daemon, the living embodiment of his inner self and the most important thing in his life essentially symbolized the very thing that made the blood freeze in his veins. She had always favoured the form of a bird, Sho came to realize the more he considered it. Even before she settled, his daemon chose to remain as a hummingbird, raven or owl for majority of the time. On occasion she would change into something else, usually due to an emotional shift or if the situation required it, but no one could deny her preferred form was that of some kind of bird.

When Sho found out the segment for V.I.P Limousine would be taking place at a theme park, he’d already gotten a terrible feeling. His heart was in his throat when it was announced their guest longed to ride the rollercoaster and that both he and Ohno would be required to go on alongside them.

They were currently between filming as the three of them got strapped in and the staff attached the portable cameras in front of them in order to record their reactions during the ride. Ohno and their female guest, Kawashima were already seated in the front of the coaster and were ready to go. They waited patiently as Sho stood on the edge of the platform muttering his grievances about getting on with them.

“Would you stop being such a coward already?” Makami scolded him, having grown tired of his incessant complaints and objections regarding the shoot about to take place.

“I don’t want to go on it!” he whined in a rather childlike manner. Makami gave a frustrated sigh and took flight, digging her small but sharp talons into the collar of Sho’s shirt. She tugged with all her might in an attempt to drag him onto the ride herself.

“You’re being ridiculous!”

“No I’m not” he wailed pitifully. “I told you, I don’t want to go. It’s scary!”

Makami could not believe how dramatic her human was being. The ride was not even on a high intensity rollercoaster; on the contrary, it was rather tame. It was long and consisted of plenty of turns and even if there were the occasional parts that raised fairly high up, there were no scary dips or loops. It was very much a beginner’s rollercoaster and made to be fun, not scary. Sho’s overreaction owing to his fear of heights and rides like these in general were just plain embarrassing. Ohno, Kawashima and both their daemons were staring at them along with the staff. Makami was mortified by the pathetic reaction Sho was demonstrating. Finally one of the staff members came forward to announce know it was time to begin filming again and Sho reluctantly stepped onto the ride. His daemon settled on his lap for the time being and did what she could to ignore the way Kai looked back over the seat at her. She would not accept judgement for her human’s horrifying behaviour simply because she was his daemon.

She’d faintly hoped that now they were actually on the ride Sho would settle down, but the little sparrow should have known it was mere wishing thinking. They had only just set off, the ride slowly ascending the first incline and Sho was already shouting that he wanted to get off. Makami rolled her eyes and took flight to hover above them. If her human was going to act like a frightened child, she might as well have some fun in scaring him further. When the rollercoaster reached the summit and plunged over the drop, Makami deliberately hung back in the air for a brief moment, enough to cause the slightest twinge of discomfort, before soaring down after the coaster. She let gravity pull her and the wind guide her movements, her wings spread wide in the enjoyment and freedom that came with such an adrenaline filled experienced. Sho’s screams stayed with her all the way yet they seemed to only spur her on to dip and duck through under the railing of the ride, looping around as she seemed to almost taunt her terrified human. She would surely get into trouble for such daring actions but she didn’t care. She was having far too much fun.

By the time the rollercoaster returned to the station and the ride came to an end, the staff were already calling for a retake of the whole thing. Sho glared at his daemon when she came to perch on the empty seat beside him.

“You did that on purpose” he grumbled at her. The very idea of having to ride again thanks to his daemon’s careless action brought the taste of bile to his tongue. His stomach was already churning and his head felt like it were spinning, and even shutting his eyes as he pressed his head against the back of the coaster’s seat was doing nothing to ease the dizziness. His daemon preened herself before turning to meet his gaze with a deceptively innocent glint in her eye. She regretted nothing.

\---

Aiba nervously made his way through the zoo he’d come to for special training. It was his third time doing this new segment for Tensai Shimura Doubtusuen and already he was certain Shimura encho liked nothing more than to watch him suffer. The place he had been sent off to this time was a kangaroo paradise.

Aiba loved many things in this world, and among the top of that long list were animals and Lanae. He was a known animal lover and held a very special relationship with his daemon, but a particular incident that had happened in recent months had significantly impacted his outlook on both. Before meeting Hacchi, Aiba hadn’t really thought much about Lanae’s settled form. If anything he thought she was cute but now he couldn’t help that little shiver which ran up his spine whenever he caught sight of her suddenly when he was off guard. She had snapped at him many times to get over his fear already and that she was _not_ a kangaroo. Aiba knew this; she was a wallaby, but the resemblance was too great for his mind to make any immediate distinction at those times. He had never experienced fear towards one animal like this before. He didn’t think anyone would judge him if he were to admit to being afraid of tigers or snakes or alligators, but kangaroos were a different story entirely. No one expected them to be as terrifying as the likes of what Aiba had witnessed from them.

Now he was here, being made to complete the next part of his zookeeper training at a place chockfull of them. When he made it through the plaza to the large enclosure inside, Aiba was pulling the gate shut again before he’d even tried to walk through it. Lanae stood a little higher on her hind legs beside him to see for herself the sight that had caused her human to freeze. Even she had to admit there were far more of them than she expected there to be.

“There are that many of them?” she wondered aloud, more to herself than to Aiba. She scanned the enclosure awaiting them inside. There had to be at least one hundred and fifty odd kangaroos in there.

Aiba slowly pulled the gate open with a whine of, “There they are…my natural enemy.”

Lanae huffed softly under her breath as she tried not to take any offence to what had so insensitively been stated by her human. Aiba didn’t even seem to register her annoyance as he made his way into the zoo and quickly hightailed it to the staff lodging with the excuse of wanting to say hello to the zookeeper. Lanae bounded after him, already knowing today would be tough on both of them.

When Aiba was introduced to the seven month old baby kangaroo by the handlers and took an immediate liking to her, Lanae felt a strange sort of jealousy sear within her at seeing her human being so sappy and affectionate towards the baby he’d hastily taken it upon himself to name Arashi-chan. He cooed over her at every given chance and seemed to love the way she would follow after him around the room, gushing over her little bounding hops. Lanae was content to stay out of it and let her human have his moment, all the while knowing once they were back outside with the adult kangaroos he’d once more think of them as frightening. Arashi-chan however didn’t appear to have the same thinking as she approached the daemon soon after being fed.

Aiba felt his heart swell with adoration when Arashi-chan attempted to climb into Lanae’s pouch. “She likes you!” he exclaimed with a breathy giggle as the baby tried to kick off with enough momentum to get inside the pouch. It was a rare sight. Animals were thought to see daemons as people. They could tell a daemon from another animal, and normally kept their distance but Arashi-chan, Aiba could guess, was too young to understand this just yet. To her, Lanae looked more like a mother and her kin than any other she’d had interaction with in her young life. The sensation that came with the little kangaroo touching his daemon was different from if a human had touched her, still retaining a fair level of discomfort but not being anywhere near as violating as Aiba knew the latter example was said to be.

The ecstasy of being with baby Arashi-chan did not last for much longer when Aiba came to the realization that there was more work he was expected to do in this kangaroo paradise. Freeing his daemon and handing Arashi-chan back to her handler, Aiba was led by the zookeeper outside where the rest of the animals were waiting for him. His confidence faded fast when he entered the pen and was introduced to the boss kangaroo, Yonesuke, already having put his jacket on in denoting the level of danger he felt he was in having increased.

“You should be good at this” the zookeeper was saying as he ran through the various points Aiba would need to know in order to separate and feed them. He gestured to Lanae when he received a puzzled look from the idol. Aiba laughed nervously and exchanged a look with Lanae before going back to listening as he was taught the correct method for picking up a kangaroo.

“Can I practice on you?” he whispered to his daemon when it was time for him to get to work. Lanae sent him a pointed look before bouncing off to search for the juveniles. She would locate them and point them out for Aiba, and he would catch and carry them to the separate pen. At least that was how it was meant to work in theory.

Lanae had little trouble finding the juvenile kangaroos, even if many of the animals were sending her odd glances, but watching Aiba attempt to catch them she knew things were going to be far from easy. He was too slow between grabbing their tail and hoisting them up. The kangaroos fled from her human who tried desperately to cling to them, only to end up causing more of them to run away. He would be scared stiff by the sudden realization of how close Yonesuke was or fall over in the process of trying to hold onto a fleeing animal. As she watched every attempt he made for the first twenty minutes fail miserably, Lanae couldn’t help feeling that perhaps she should have allowed Aiba to practice on her first. It would have probably been the less humiliating option.

By the time he finally started to get the hang of capturing them, they were both already thoroughly exhausted. His daemon could guess he was overly excited by his increasing confidence at being able to catch them as he started to pick up even the adults.

“This one is heavy.”

“Masaki, that one’s too big” she told him, hopping slowly alongside as he tried to carry the heavy kangaroo over to the other pen.

“That’s just…your from viewpoint” he said between breaths. With no consideration for the consequence it would also have on herself, Lanae was very tempted to kick him from behind for such a comment but the zookeeper’s call from up ahead took away her chance.

“Ah that one is a little too big.”

Aiba looked up in surprise, yelling back to check if it was okay before he lowered the kangaroo back down, sending a sheepish glance over at his daemon. She simply glared at him. It was somewhat justifying, Lanae though, when Yonesuke managed to find his way in and beat down her human, even if she felt the same harsh impact when Aiba landed.

The feeding of the adults was chaos and pain all wrapped up in one. Lanae could feel Aiba’s fear for kangaroos re-establishing and growing seemingly worse the longer they were there in the middle of this hellish paradise. There was nothing cute about hungry kangaroos. Aiba had quickly reaffirmed his belief that kangaroos were violent, dangerous and sometimes downright savage. He’d tried to lighten the mood and by extension his spirits by comparing the rush of ravenous animals with a concert, but he was quickly and painfully shot down by clawed hands beating at his body. Aiba wanted to get out of that pen as fast as he could but the zookeeper had already closed the gate behind him and left him seemingly on his own. The only time he’d step in and help was when several of the kangaroos wrapped their arms around his and dug their claws in deep in an attempt to get to the food he held. Even Lanae was crying out in pain in unison with him as she too was trampled by their larger forms.

It was no surprise that the first batch of food did not make it as far as the tree. Aiba was disappointed to have failed but was at least thankful that most of the kangaroos were occupied with the spilt food, hence giving him the chance to make it further than he had previously. The animals did not stay distracted for long though as lead by Yonesuke, they soon realized Aiba had more food.

“Uh oh” Lanae whispered with dread when she saw the mass of kangaroos coming at them a second time.

“Now’s my chance” Aiba exclaimed, already breaking out into a run with his daemon right on his heels. Their pace only increased as they ran aimlessly through the enclosure.

The location the zookeeper had told him to put the food was completely lost from Aiba’s mind the moment he saw the hundred odd kangaroos all in fast pursuit of him. His cries were loud, alternating between desperate yells for help that they were chasing him and incessant asking of where he was meant to put the food down.

“Put it down!” Lanae screamed at her human. She didn’t dare look back. “Masaki, put it down!”

“Where? Which way?”

The zookeeper was calling out to them to place it under the tree but Aiba’s mind was still too far gone in a mad and desperate rush to escape the animals shadowing him to process what he was saying.

His daemon did his best to help him out. “The tree, Masaki! Under the tree.”

“Which tree?”

“That tree!”

Finally Aiba placed the food down and sprinted as far from the tree as he could so as not to get caught by the mob of kangaroos. When all the food was put where it should be and his job was complete, Aiba allowed himself a much needed moment to catch his breath while he stumbled back away from the animals feeding. He’d be glad to never see another kangaroo for as long as he lived after this. Out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of a kangaroo-like figure and spun around at the same time a startled shout escaped him. Lanae hopped forward and cuffed his wrist with her paw.

“It’s me!” she snapped at him. Even after the experience they’d just shared, a part of her was unable to believe she was actually having to remind him of who she was. Aiba’s panicked expression vanished and a relieved one formed soon after. It wasn’t another kangaroo. It was just his daemon.


End file.
